by Gary Reinecke | Sep 3, 2021 | Coach Training, Disciplemaking |
Recently, we have been looking at five shifts to make that will help empower your teenager to become mature, healthy self-led adults. Last week, we looked at the Shift #1: Talker to listener. Shift two is all about moving from the center of their lives and decision-making to the side. As a reminder, I am not an expert in parenting. But I have learned a thing or two about coaching and helping people take action towards the direction God has designed for them in life and ministry. Also, these five shifts are not limited to parenting. They relate to working with teenagers in youth groups or wherever you’re connecting with people in meaningful ways to help them take the next step on their journey to follow Jesus’ mission for their life. Let me give a bit of background so you have some context.
Shift #2 – Center to Side
One of the things we did very early with our kids was to involve them in sports. When we lived in Phoenix, Gina and I coached their respective “recreation” soccer teams. We lived in the city and the rec leagues were designed for all kids to participate regardless of athletic ability or economic situation. Our son played one summer of T-ball and we asked him not to play again (the summer heat even for an early game was suffocating) and later basketball BTW – both kids are athletic and our son is a very quick learner so new sports came easy for him. They enjoyed sports.
When we relocated to Southern California we graduated from rec leagues to competitive soccer. What the kids gained were nicer uniforms, higher calibre of coaching and players with a bit more skill. What they lost was the fun factor! For me (playing competitive soccer most of my life through my sophomore year in college at a NCAA Div I program) and Gina (elite gymnast and field hockey player in Australia with the additional bonus of studying kinesiology at university) – we had to make a hard decision and consider: Was this about us or the kids?
Our response to that question led us down the path of understanding what we cared about and hoped to instill in our kids. So we made the hard decision to tell the kids that they did not have to play a competitive sport; but in exchange they had to remain active. That meant, regular body movement. We died to ourselves and helped the kids discover activities they were passionate about!
We took ourselves out of the center and moved to the side!
This meant we had to become like Barnabas. What we discovered was that we were able to dedicate the time we had given to all-weekend tournaments and engage with the kids on hikes, camping and exploring various activities like rock climbing, mountain biking and swimming together. Today, they continue to be curious about the outdoors, learning new activities like trail running and walking the streets to explore new parts of the city while testing their skills and levels of fitness with new activities. This was the vision of what we wanted for our kids back when we made the difficult decision of making this about them – not about us.
Here are some of the things we did to make this shift in the way we parented our teenagers.
Key Question: How can I resist the temptation to force my agenda and be attuned to the other person’s agenda?
Mini-Shifts:
- Sacrifice your need to be the center of the conversation
o Make your teenager the focus of the conversation.
- Support your teenager to discover their next step
o Facilitate the discovery of a step for your teen to take responsibility.
- Put your assumptions, opinions, and biases in the background
o Resist the temptation to make judgements and remain curious.
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5 Disciple Coach Habits webinar – Monday, October 11 from 10-3 PST
Cost: $250.00
The full package includes the webinar AND triad sessions:
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by Gary Reinecke | Jul 28, 2021
Webinar + 5 Triads October 7, 2024 10am-3pm PST REGISTER HERE The modern map for DISCIPLE MAKING has been disrupted InFocus guides you as you navigate the post-Modern era map: ‘Blessing’, ‘Belonging’, ‘Believing’, ‘Becoming’ ...
by Gary Reinecke | Jul 28, 2021
3 pandemic-related challenges christians face making disciples when using a coach approach DISCONNECTion 1 in 3 Christians stopped attending church George Barna July 2020 FEAR We've essentially been training for a phobia David Spiegel Stanford Center - Stress &...
by Gary Reinecke | May 28, 2021 | Uncategorized |
How can people engage relationally?
If you view the disciple making process like a map – chances are the map you used in the 20th century is different than the map you use in the 21st century. The modern map began with ‘Believing’, followed by ‘Behaving’ and culminated with ‘Belonging’. In the post-Modern era the map looks more like this: “Belonging”, “Following” and “Serving”.
How can people engage in their disciple making journey?
How can people help others?
Special thanks to Sequoia Church, Nic Pope - Lead Pastor Used with permission
Jesus mastered the art of listening and asking questions to help people discover truth for themselves! Today, self-discovery is foundational to the disciple making process. This is why disciples have shifted from telling people (Modern) what they should believe to self-discovery (Post-Modern) using a coach-approach.
We are getting closer and closer to launching the Disciple Coach Quiz. As we beta-test the quiz we are receiving amazing feedback. “Our goal? To provide a tool that will help you and those you disciple progress through the three stages mentioned in a previous blog: beginning with being a disciple – shifting to a disciple maker – finally, adopting a coach-approach as you make disciples.” Stay tuned for more updates in the weeks to come!
Research suggests that about 2% of the churches in America are multiplying so I think it is fair to speculate that about 2% of Christians are making disciples, that are making disciples.
(Becoming A Level Five Multiplying Church Field Guide)
So, we created the Disciple Coach Quiz to inspire the 98%. These are Christians who are looking for a way to use their gifts where God has placed them in life to help other people discover and follow Jesus so that they can make disciples. Our aim is not to have another thing for people to do or a program to follow, but to make several natural shifts that will enable each of you to make disciples who in turn make disciples.
by Gary Reinecke | May 21, 2021 | Uncategorized |
As a disciple I am learning from Jesus to live my life as he would live life if he were I. I am not necessarily learning to do everything he did, but I am learning how to do everything I do in the manner in which he did all that he did.
Dallas Willard
Someone who is living out of a Basic Core that exhibits a love for God in Christ and a love for others that leads to making disciples.
Colin Noyes
A disciple coach helps their newest disciples by listening and asking questions to help them discern the voice of the Holy Spirit so that they can take the next step in their discipling making journey.
Gary Reinecke
Notice the nuanced progression:
- The disciple, by definition, is a student.
- The disciple shifts, ever so slight, when they become a disciple maker.
- The disciple maker shifts, by adopting a coach approach, to multiply disciples.
These three nuanced shifts are observable. You have probably experienced them in your own development. One way of looking at this is moving from a disciple who makes disciples by addition (one at a time) to a multiplier (exponential growth into the 3rd and 4th generation of disciples).
The vision fueling the disciple coach-approach is to engage Christians who are not currently making disciples, for whatever reason, to participate in the mission of Jesus. “How so?” By listening to the Holy Spirit, take the next step on their disciple making journey so that they can help people around them do the same.
We are getting closer and closer to launching the Disciple Coach Quiz. As we beta-test the quiz we are receiving amazing feedback. “Our goal? To provide a tool that will help you and those you disciple progress through the three stages mentioned above: beginning with being a disciple – shifting to a disciple maker – finally, adopting a coach-approach as you make disciples.” Stay tuned for more updates in the weeks to come!
