Lesson #10 – Thank your Mentors

Lesson #10 – Thank your Mentors

So far, I’ve focused on the importance of the:

  • Spiritual: Discern the will of the Father, helping those you coach to do the same
  • Relational: Value the other person
  • Personal: Embrace your unique contribution
  • Interpersonal: You can’t want something for someone else more than they want it for themselves
  • Inspirational: Help people tap into their creativity
  • Intellectual: Challenge for clarity
  • Analytical: Analyze to Energize
  • Practical: Travel the high road high road to Confidentiality
  • Developmental: Take Responsibility for Your Development

This week I focus on the power of mentors.

Lesson #10 – Thank your Mentors

I have been blessed with a number of influential people in my life. This blog is dedicated to the many mentors that have given unselfishly to me and my growth as a coach.

The list inevitably will highlight some and completely miss the others. Here is a glimpse of the men and women who have played an instrumental role in my journey as a coach, and what they have contributed. Let’s get started:

  • Henry Reinecke, Jr: dad taught me the importance of integrity and hard work.
  • Jerry Reinecke: mom taught me the importance of listening and asking powerful questions.
  • David McDaniel: organizational development and strategic planning on creating affiliates.
  • Colin Noyes: my Australian friend has created a safe place to process my vision since 2004.
  • Ed Carey: helped me understand the importance of developing good business practices to run an effective ministry.
  • Bob Logan: exposed me to the power of multiplication in leadership development and church planting.
  • Steve Ogne: put words to the thing I was called to do – coaching.
  • Bob Trott: for his commitment to disciple-making movements.
  • John and Deanna Hayes: never, ever forget the poor.
  • Tim Elmore: always see the best in people.
  • Terry Walling: demonstrated his passion for leadership development through transitions
  • Gayle Parker: allowed me to try new ideas to revive an urban ministry like planting a church within a church.
  • Tom Parker: encouraged me to pursue my doctorate.
  • Dan Reeves: modeled and shared the nuances of coaching, training and consulting.
  • Christian Schwarz: put language to the principles at the roots of church health supported by rigorous research.
  • Pete Wagner: created a hunger for church growth.
  • Donald McGavran: created a hunger for church multiplication movements and international missions.
  • … and the many leaders that have allowed me the privelege to coach them through a multitude of issues to expand their vision for making more and better disciples, leaders and churches.

Many thanks for the selfless contribution each has made. Honestly, without each of these mentors I would not be in the space I am today – serving leaders across cultures to catalyze multiplication movements. It would have been an impossible journey without them.

In response, I am committed to “paying it forward” by equipping the next generation of leaders and coaches. Beginning in October, InFocus is launching the InFocus Collective. COLLECTIVES are focused learning intensives to take the best practices to make more & better disciples in the healthiest environments possible.

Back to the issue of mentors.

Five Questions to Identify Mentors in your Life

1. What are my growing edges personally and in ministry?

2. Which area is important but not urgent?

3. Who do I know that can help me in that area?

4. If I don’t know anyone, who do I know that knows someone?

5. How can you find the mentor you need??

I close with this statement from Andy Stanley:

“You may be good. You may be better than anyone else. But without a coach you will never be as good as you could be.”

Lesson #9 – Coach Development

Lesson #9 – Coach Development

So far, I’ve focused on the importance of the:

  • Spiritual: Discern the will of the Father, helping those you coach to do the same
  • Relational: Value the other person
  • Personal: Embrace your unique contribution
  • Interpersonal: You can’t want something for someone else more than they want it for themselves
  • Inspirational: Help people tap into their creativity
  • Intellectual: Challenge for clarity
  • Analytical: Analyze to Energize
  • Practical: Travel the high road high road to Confidentiality

This week I shift focus to your development as a coach.

Lesson #9 – Coach Development

Most leaders I know have committed themselves to their personal development. Committed yes! But moving from commitment to action is a bridge that is challenging for leaders to cross.

Let me unpack this a bit.

It is one thing to attend a conference. It is another to take an idea from the conference and implement. For instance, have you ever attended an event and listened to amazing experts on a topic? Felt inspired to take action “as soon as you return” to your office. But when that inspiration is confronted with reality – reality will challenge, frustrate and many times beat the inspiration out of you until it becomes a faint memory.

That “conference high” has dissipated until it has become a mere sputter. The question lingers in the back of your mind – “Why?”.

  • Why can’t you push through the invisible wall?
  • What is missing for you to take action?
  • How can you harness the energy to break-through?

Making space in your life for your coach development is like this. Over the last 30 years this has been an ongoing challenge that I have taken seriously. I have committed to certain events and practices that have served me well. Here are a couple that I would recommend:

This is not an exhaustive list, but each has contributed to my development with good information. The challenge is what do you do with that good information? Let me suggest one idea. Beginning in October, InFocus is launching the InFocus Collective.

  • The first Collective is for leaders, catalyzing church multiplication in a region. We are coming alongside leaders who want to increase the health and capacity for multiplying leaders, groups and churches to the next level. You can receive more information by clicking here.
  • The second Collective is for disciple-makers, catalyzing disciple-making movements. We are coming alongside leaders who want to increase the health and capacity for disciples making disciples. You can receive more information by clicking here.

Just one very simple, but practical way for you to take the information you have learned from various events, books and webinars to a more practical place.

Back to the topic of coach development. If you don’t take responsibility for your development – who will?

Here are five reflections on how to determine where you need to focus in your personal development:

  • What action have I taken in the last 30-90 days for my coach development?
  • What plan am I following in the next 30-90 days for my coach development?
  • What steps would I like to take in the next 30-90 days in my coach development?
  • What are the repercussions, if I don’t take these steps in the next 30-90 days for my coach development?
  • What good intentions have I gleaned from events, books and webinars in the last 30-90 days will I move to a practical place?

Finally, your development as a missional coach will determine your fruitfulness long-term.

  • I appreciate the following quote:

            “If you are under the impression you have already perfected yourself, you will never rise to the heights you are no doubt capable of.” Kazuo Ishiguro, The Remains of the Day

When it comes to coach development, if you do not take responsibility – who will?

Celebrating 30 years of coaching missional leaders: Lesson #8 – Coaching Etiquette

Celebrating 30 years of coaching missional leaders: Lesson #8 – Coaching Etiquette

So far, I’ve focused on the importance of the:

  • Spiritual: Discern the will of the Father, helping those you coach to do the same
  • Relational: Value the other person
  • Personal: Embrace your unique contribution
  • Interpersonal: You can’t want something for someone else more than they want it for themselves
  • Inspirational: Help people tap into their creativity
  • Intellectual: Challenge for clarity
  • Analytical: Analyze to Energize

This week I shift focus to the pragmatic aspects of coaching.

Lesson #8 – Coaching Etiquette

This lesson can be learned the hard way. Like the seven proceeding lessons, experience is the best teacher. The notion of etiquette makes me nervous because you might interpret that the author, me, is an expert on the topic. Far from it. However, I have observed when certain things build rapport vs. detract from the coach relationship.

Boundaries are vital when coaching leaders. A principle in coaching is “confidentiality”. But what happens when the issue moves into the grey zone – from important information, to a “secret”, for instance. When you have been given information, that would be helpful for others to know. What do you do?

Honestly, this can be a challenging dilemma.

When certain agreements have been made up front, what do you do with information that could, and perhaps should, be shared with others?

One simple, but sometimes overlooked step is – ask permission! Asking permission to share the information from the person you are coaching. I have wrestled with this on ocasion and have forgotten the direct approach works best.

Let me take this up a level.

When you are asked to coach multiple members of the same team, including the team leader, what is the best scenario if confidentiality is an issue for you? One suggestion: bring another leader in to coach the other members of the team so that you are not the “information broker” of the entire team.

This assumes you do not have supervisory responsibilities. If you are a supervisor who is using a coach approach then there are certain obligations you have as an employee to the organization you serve. This is an exception. But if you are external to the organization, like coaching a church planter or regional leader; the “multiple coach” scenario applies.

In the big scheme of things, confidentiality is challenging to keep all the time, in every situation. Stakes are high. Coaching etiquette touches on many topics, but confidentiality is certainly high on that list.

Here are five reflections on how to determine if information should remain confidential:

  1. Will keeping the information confidential make it uncomfortable for you?
  2. Will this information do harm to other people? This might cause personal harm or mission drift.
  3. What could the repercussions be if you don’t share the information?
  4. What could the repercussions be if you do share the information without permission?
  5. How will this affect your coaching relationship if you keep this information confidential?

Finally, take this lesson seriously. Relational trust is incredibly complex but can be destroyed in a moment. I like Warren Buffet’s quote on a related issue – integrity: “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.”

When it comes to coaching etiquette – you will seldom be criticized to taking the conservative approach to preserve the integrity of the relationship.

Lesson #7 – Analyze to Energize

Lesson #7 – Analyze to Energize

So far, I’ve focused on the importance of the:

  • Spiritual: Discern the will of the Father, helping those you coach to do the same
  • Relational: Value the other person
  • Personal: Embrace your unique contribution
  • Interpersonal: You can’t want something for someone else more than they want it for themselves
  • Inspirational: Help people tap into their creativity
  • Intellectual: Challenge for clarity

This week I shift focus to the analytic aspects of coaching.

Lesson #7 – Analyze to Energize

We have a saying around my home – “exercise to energize”. I’ve modified that saying slightly to apply to coaching: analyze to energize. Help the person you are coaching thoroughly understand the problem until they see the path forward.

How many times have you been working with a disciplemaker, and through asking powerful questions to reflect; the answer has mysteriously come to the forefront of their minds. I believe that happens more often than not when we are true to the coaching process. The results can be transformational.

Over the last 30 years a large part of my work has been in training and developing missional leaders in coaching. Most leaders who have been coaching for a while have done an adequate job using their intuition. Intuition can take a leader pretty far. But to move from good to great, helping to empowering, or effective to strategic requires three key components:

  • Comprehensive coaching process
    • Answers the questions – “What do I need to do every time I engage in a coaching conversation?”
  • Mastery of the key coaching skills
    • Answers the questions – “What skills do I need to develop to engage in a coaching conversation?”
  • Principle-based framework 
    • Answers the questions – “What topics will I coach leaders on to cultivate disciplemaking movements?”

By this I mean, if you are coaching a leader to refine their disciplemaking process, church planting process or leadership pipeline – you have a framework that you use to help the leader assess their process. You may not be fully aware that you have one, but you are consciously or subconsciously operating from your experience. Or the leader you are coaching may have that process already in hand through the network they participate in. In either case, it is imperative that the framework you use to formulate questions is built on principles. Why is this so? If your process is linked tightly to a particular model you will discover limitations. Especially when you work across denominations, cultures or with diverse leaders.

For instance, I have been working with a disciplemaker in Southeast Asia. Over the last five years he has collaborated with a network of missionaries who have catalyzed a disciplemaking movement. To-date, about 400 Discovery Bible Studies have been birthed, with some groups reproducing to the third and fourth generation. In addition, two new church plants have been birthed from their efforts.

If I came in with a western model of disciplemaking I could do more harm than good. However, if the disciplemaking process is based on principles, then the questions I ask will come from a more global understanding of disciplemaking and not direct the leader down a path that will lead them to a distinctly western model.

This leader has seen the necessity of coaching in a disciplemaking movement. The reason why many movements stall-out in the first generation it due to the leader’s inability to release the need to control the outcome. Once again, when a principle-based approach is taken – the fruit tends to be healthier. The leader will posture himself/herself in the role of catalyst which results in reproduction into the second, third and fourth generation.

The framework I use is called the Leadership Multiplication Pathway Storyboard. When you take a closer look, you see four phases of development, each with it’s own storyboard:

  1. Character – Missional Discipleship 
  2. Calling – Focused Ministry 
  3. Competency – Effective Leadership 
  4. Culture – Continuous Multiplication 

You can read more about the system by clicking here and downloading the article at the bottom of the page.

The storyboard is simply a tool. It is the technical side of coaching. The relational side is you, and what you bring to the equation.

Here are five principle-focused questions to coach a disciplemaking movement leader:

  1. What is a disciple?
  2. Describe your disciplemaking process?
  3. What is missing in your process?
  4. What do you need to change?
  5. What it your next step?

Whatever framework you use, it is important to understand the nuances, strengths and limitations of the process you use. The strength of the storyboards are the principles they are based upon. This allows for diverse applications regardless of model of ministry, contextual issues or leadership approaches.