3 Questions to strengthen your Relational Connections

3 Questions to strengthen your Relational Connections

Relational connections are really the foundation of discipleship. God created us as relational beings, we thrive when making connections, and are at our best when we feel supported and loved. A relationship between a disciple and their teacher can be a life-long and powerful connection, but it always just starts with simply getting to know each other. From the relationships we make, we can build true friendships and from friendships, discipleship can grow. 

So let’s think about our friendships: When it comes to our Christian friends versus our non-Christian friends, it is easy to emphasize the importance of one over the other. What normally happens when a new Christian follows Jesus, is their relationships with “outsiders” begin to shrink while their relationships with “insiders” begins to expand. We only have a finite amount of time and it’s easiest to spend it with the people who already fit within our normal routines. When looking to disciple others, it seems natural and easy to draw from those who fit neatly into your life already. It’s all well and good to draw from your Christian community (we all need a mentor at certain points in our lives!) but where we really need to begin is outside of the walls of the church; with our friends who don’t fit so neatly into our lives. After all, we can’t share the good news with people who already know it!

If you realize that you have very few non-Christian friends, you can start with building meaningful relationships with people that God has already placed in your life. We should intentionally be looking to disciple people different from us; people who believe differently, and live different lifestyles. These connections build bridges, not just between yourself and your disciple, but between larger communities; plus we have more of a chance for growth within ourselves, than if we stick to what we know. As we begin to enter a less familiar world and build relationships with people who make choices we might not choose, who think in ways we don’t, we can fall into judgement very quickly. It is necessary to remember we all have our own path to Jesus. We’ve all struggled with doubt, we’ve all given into temptations. We are not there to judge. We are there to seek to understand. All healthy relationships are built on respect and authenticity. Building relationships is not a job or task; it’s just about letting God work through you in the natural relationships you already have.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

  • Who are you intentionally forming discipleship relationships with in your life?
  • Where in your life could you develop authentic relationships with not-yet Christians?
  • What skills do you need to develop and apply to move your relationship or friendship forward to discipleship?

If you still haven’t taken our FREE Disciple Coach Quiz, CLICK HERE.

Check out the 5 Disciple Coach Habits training coming up October 11 – CLICK HERE!

 

3 ACTIONS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR SPIRITUAL IMPACT AS A DISCIPLE COACH

3 ACTIONS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR SPIRITUAL IMPACT AS A DISCIPLE COACH

One of the most vital and often overlooked elements of discipleship is prayer. Of course, as Christians, we know that prayer is important; it’s significance is repeated over and over in the Bible, by our pastors and our entire Christian community, but it can be so easy to fall into the pattern of passive prayer: that is prayer we do out of obligation or habit, without thinking or connecting.

Learn about the Disciple Coach Quiz – CLICK HERE!

For many of us, prayer happens at particular times of the day; before bed or dinner; maybe you pray first thing in the morning. Maybe you even carve out time intentionally every now and then, but even in your intentional time, it can begin to feel like a chore; some words to say before moving on with your day. We need to remember that prayer is our deepest and most personal way to connect to Jesus. It’s our lifeline to God and can be one of our strongest tools for finding disciples; we pray for them to come into our lives and trust that God will send them our way.

If you still haven’t taken our FREE Disciple Coach Quiz, take it HERE!

Incredible things can happen when we turn passive prayer into active prayer; that is, prayer done with intention, with engagement and love for our Lord and for the people in our lives. I had a friend who had been intentionally building relationships with non-Christians, but there hadn’t been any fruit in quite a while. After a brief conversation with him he stopped and prayed for those he was in relationship with. That day one of the individuals called him out of the blue and wanted to meet to talk about this “Jesus thing”. It is easy to just slide these and other examples into the coincidence bucket, but the Bible shows us the power of prayer and its ability to change lives.

This next week, here are a few things you can pray for to jumpstart your intentional time with the Lord:

  1. Pray for yourself… that you can be who God needs you to be. That you will be blessed with a heart and mind for the lost, that translates to compassion and action.
  2. Prayer for those God is leading your way. We can pray they are open to the touch of the Holy Spirit and responsive to our actions.
  3. Pray for two random people you encounter each day. Pray for God to fill them with wisdom and understanding: for the things of God. Pray that God uses you to love them, in whatever capacity he desires (from a prayer and a smile to becoming a friend). They may be a Christian, they may not, but they are all God’s children.

Also coming up: a new webinar on 5 Disciple Coach Habits. It will take place Monday, September 13 from 10-3 PST. Get tickets HERE!

Look into our full webinar package with five triad sessions, following the webinar. Get tickets HERE!

 

Missional Values – knowing and understanding your personal values and living them out through consistent behavior

Missional Values – knowing and understanding your personal values and living them out through consistent behavior

Missional Values ask the question: Why do you love God, love your neighbor and make disciples?

Have you ever been at work, or at church, or chatting with a friend and you realize that you just said or did something differently than you would do if you were someplace else? Maybe you realized that you truly value honest relationships in your personal life, but when you’re at work, you can’t seem to be able to share important truths about yourself. Maybe you are an incredibly invested parent, but you can’t seem to work up that enthusiasm in church. It can look a million different ways.

Our friend and partner on the Discipleship Guides and Quiz, Glenn Spyksma, shares his experience with incongruent values. 

Glenn’s experience:

I went through this realization myself not too long ago. One of my values is “people development”, or wanting to see people become all that God intends for them to be. I felt like I was living this out at work but at church, I struggled to help people in this way. It wasn’t that things were different at work and church… my values were different. My values were in conflict with each other and I realized that I would find myself having to change my identity depending on the situation. This inspired me to really consider what my truest and deepest values were. 

I began by looking back on my life and considering consistent themes (positive and negative). I thought about influential people in my life, circumstances that shaped me, events that encouraged new ways of thinking and behaving. Next, I identified lessons learned…

For example, one of my values is “people development”, or wanting to see people become all that God intends for them to be. At work, this was played out through training classes, mentoring, coaching, and creating a freedom for upward mobility driven by personal accomplishment.  But at church I struggled to find a way to help people like I did at work. It was frustrating. I felt like I was able to live out my value of “people development” at work but not in my church. I was not living a life that was congruent. I was being authentic to who God created me to be at work, but not at church. It wasn’t that things were different at work and church… my values were different. I was not being true to myself. This caused incredible frustration  because my values were in conflict with each other and I would find myself having to change my identity depending on the situation.  I wanted to discover my life values; my true and deepest values, and then align them with my behavior in  everything I did. But where did I begin?  Self evaluation can be difficult. If you find yourself, like me, weighing what you truly value, start with your most important, clear behaviors. For me that came down to love God, love others and make disciples.

Do you also feel the need to clarify your values? Follow in Glenn’s steps:

  1. Begin by looking back at your life to identify themes, influential people, circumstances that shaped you, or events that encouraged new ways of thinking and behaving.
  2. Identify lessons learned. 
  3. Identify values from these lessons
  4. Now take 5 minutes and go back through and reexamine if your values are things, you value or life values.  Modify your list, as necessary.
  5. Create three columns by each of your values.  Maybe start with the three you see as most important to you. This can be whatever you see as the main areas to examine your values in. At the top of a column write Church, Work, Home, Playing
    Sports or whatever you see as three areas to examine your values in. Begin to examine how you live out each value in the three areas. This is only for you, so be truthful!

So what did you observe? How can you change your actions to be consistent with your highest values in all areas of life? Tomorrow, as you go about your day, be especially mindful of your new and improved list of values… you will be surprised at how it changes your day and makes you feel more at peace with yourself. 

About Glenn: Glenn is a semi-retired Operations Executive formerly with The Wine Group. He has also worked with colleagues in the operations and engineering arena developing people and systems for large brands like Campbell Soup and Chef Boyardee among others. Glenn has always had one foot in the church and one foot in the marketplace. He is an avid church-goer and involved in church leadership.

If you still haven’t taken our FREE Disciple Coach Quiz, take it HERE!

Coaching Guides expand on the habits and are part of a follow-up Zoom call after you take the quiz.

Also coming up: a new webinar on 5 Disciple Coach Habits. It will take place Monday, September 13 from 10-3 PST. Get tickets HERE!

Look into our full webinar package with five triad sessions, following the webinar. Get tickets HERE!

Missional Values – knowing and understanding your personal values and living them out through consistent behavior

Who partnered with us while creating our approach to discipleship?

If there is one thing that we know at InFocus, it is that we are at our best when we collaborate with others to gain new insights. These last few months we have been hard at work as we launch our new disciple coach quiz and now that is finally available, we want to take this time to shine a light on our partners who helped us shape our approach to discipleship:  Our primary vision for the quiz was to introduce a coach-approach to disciple making:

A disciple coach helps their newest disciples by listening and asking questions to help them discern the voice of the Holy Spirit so that they can take the next step in their discipling making journey

Based on that vision, we asked the important question: What kind of support does a disciple need to make disciples using a coach approach?  Both Colin and Glenn bring a unique perspective to disciple making.

Colin Noyes is a trainer, coach and consultant in Brisbane, Australia. He coaches in secular environments, working with business managers and executives, but he is also very involved in denominations and local churches in the Christian world.  His focus is making more and better disciples, developing leaders and multiplying churches.  Personally, being married to an Aussie and having spent considerable time in Melbourne, Australia; I’ve experienced the radical (meaning “going back to the root understanding of Jesus’s way of making disciples”) approach to disciple making that is necessary in a secular environment.  

Colin and I have talked for years about the shifts in the culture and the implications on disciple making, and he truly was the foundation for our approach to discipleship; that discipleship starts in the harvest, not once you become a follower. He helped me to see this, reminding me that Jesus focused his time on engaging with those outside of the church. After hours of conversation, we tried to think of ways to shift the starting point when it comes to discipleship.

LEARN about the DISCIPLE COACH Quiz

Glenn Spyksma was the Operations Executive of the second largest wine distribution company in the world and has a background in engineering, working with many large brands. He has three decades in industry and now serves in a leadership role in the Central California region of the denomination of which his church is a member. Glenn strives to help individuals rise to their highest level, take educated risks, enjoy work and realize their self-worth.  After Glenn participated in a coach training workshop I led for pastors and leaders in his region, he commented during a de-brief of a triad exercise he did with two other leaders that asking questions and listening to others in this manner – “was the most profound experience he had ever encountered”.

Glenn has always had one foot in the church and one foot in the marketplace. He is an avid church-goer and involved in church leadership. Glenn and I have spent a lot of time discussing the struggle of living in both the secular world and the Christian world and asking the question; what support do I need as a person who is making disciples? Eventually he came up with the five habits of good disciple makers, which became the catalyst for our disciple coach guide, and the basis for our coaching quiz. 

Then there are the leaders who have been generous with their time to take the quiz and give us feedback.  This helped us refine the questions and the coaching guides.  Read  their endorsements of the quiz at the bottom of the page- CLICK HERE.

We are so grateful for these people, without whom, the Disciple Coach Quiz couldn’t have been made. Their particular ensigns in both the Secular and religious world shaped the way we think about discipleship. Together, we want to bridge the gap between the insulated Christian world, to the rest of the world past the doors of our church… where discipleship really begins.

TAKE the DISCIPLE COACH Quiz

Gary Reinecke and his team have developed a really useful questionnaire which gives you an overall Disciple Coach Score as well as some improvement keys to help you grow in your commitment to His Mission.

Colin Noyes – Author DisciplingAsYouGo BlogAs You Go, Makes DisciplesMaking Disciples in a Postmodern Era & Making Disciples Coaching Guide with Storyboard

The Discipleship Coach quiz is finally here!

The Discipleship Coach quiz is finally here!

We’ve been so excited to share this resource with our readers and it is finally time!  If you are just joining us, here are some things you might want to know about the Discipleship Coach Quiz:

Who is this quiz for?

Church leaders, church planters and pastors and anyone. who aspires to be, or already is, a disciple-maker.

What does this quiz cover?

We check your strengths and weaknesses in five key areas of discipleship: missional values, active prayer, relational connections, disciple-making cycle and strategic partnership.

LEARN about the DISCIPLE COACH Quiz

How is this quiz best used?

It is best shared with small groups that can process together; to help one another engage and grow in relationship with each other and with the Lord.  This is not part of a step-by-step guide… more of a jumping off point to help you understand and grow your unique way of discipling.

How long does the quiz take?

We know you’re busy, but don’t worry, this will take less than five minutes of your time!

Okay, I’m interested… but how much does it cost?

Nothing! This quiz is absolutely free.

TAKE the DISCIPLE COACH Quiz

So, after I take the quiz… then what?

You will receive a score breakdown with a graph of your current strengths and weaknesses as a Disciple Coach, with a brief explanation of the area where you should direct the most focus. This will be linked to a coaching guide to help you develop this area. You will then be invited to schedule a no-obligation, free 25-minute Zoom call with me to discuss your results.

What can I do to keep growing after I take the quiz?

Coming this September we will be hosting a five-hour webinar on discipleship! More information will be coming soon!

Here is what one disciple maker says about the Disciple Coach Quiz:

“As someone who desires to grow in their understanding of how to be a disciple who makes disciples and lead others through this process, the Disciple Coach quiz was extremely helpful. It highlighted key areas of growth as well as provided practical next steps that were specific to my disciple making journey. For those of you who are unsure of where to begin as disciple maker or feel stuck in the process, the Disciple Coach quiz is an excellent resource that will empower you to take significant steps forward in the vital mission of making and multiplying disciples”
Sam Brown – Salem Alliance Pastor of House Churches