The ultimate goal of coaching is to help clients change their lives for the better and grow their ministries. We want to help them discover a path that will take them closer and closer to their goals, personal growth and transformational learning. This process begins with a conversation, and it ends with action being taken. Christian Coaching Essentials (the book I co-wrote with Bob Logan) says, “Through increasingly focused questions, the coaching process moves a person from simply talking about life or ministry issues to actually doing something (Essentials p. 34).”
From rehearsing the story to reflection
This first step begins with the client sharing a story about their life; something that happens all the time. As a coach, you asked questions pushing them and spurring them to think deeper about this story and why they did what they did, or felt what they felt. By the end of the conversation, they will have gained new insight into themselves through this reflection.
For example: you are working with a young man who has enjoyed fruitful years of ministry.. However, over the course of several conversations, he begins to realize that he can be a more effective disciple of Christ in a role where he has the freedom to connect with people far from God as they go about their work and lives.
Questions for rehearsing to reflection:
What did this conversation reveal to you?
How has your curiosity been sparked?
What are you sensing the Holy Spirit wants you to explore further?
From reflection to action
Reflection is so helpful, but not worth much if it is not used to make positive changes! The next step is to take the information the client has gathered about themselves from the reflection, and take action.
For example: the young man decides to leave his position in a vocational ministry role and begin his own house-painting business. He employed young adults; this gave him opportunities to connect with them he wouldn’t have in a local church setting.
Questions for reflection to action:
What would you like your impact to be?
How can you create an environment where that is possible? – What is your next step?
From Action to Transformational Learning
The final step is coming together again to discuss the results of the action. Once more, this step revolves around conversation and you asking probing and thoughtful questions. The goal is to use the results to help your client understand their growth and see the transformation that has taken place.
For example: The young man’s business begins to take off. He is able to hire more employees in the area. He is even able to donate money back to his old ministry, as well as leading some of the young adults to take interest in the ministry’s work.
Questions for Action to Transformational Learning:
How has this experience challenged your thinking?
What do you need to change moving forward?
What insights do you have about your leadership?
4 Benefits to the Client
1. Self-discovery
Guiding people through the reflection sequence allows them to come to their own conclusions. A-ha moments are far more powerful than simply telling a person what they need to do
2. Slow down to go fast
Life in real time rarely leaves space for deeper reflection and learning. The result is repeating the same mistakes. Helping your client to see the story frame by frame leads to greater awareness and effectiveness in future projects.
3. Prescriptive vs. Descriptive
Steps and pathways to growth are great—unless they don’t have an onramp where your client needs one or they are forcing the client to go in unnecessary directions. Prescriptive formulas don’t always fit the context. Instead, taking on a strategic role in a creative process allows your client to describe and process their own experiences, which leads to powerful insights.
4. Surfaces values
Processing conversations gives clients the opportunity to allow values to percolate to the surface. When a client has clearly defined values, they are able to make decisions with greater confidence.
It is so clear how this young man used each step of the sequence to great effect. He was given permission to reflect. To advance his thinking from reflection into action. And then from action into a plan for transformational learning that will change the trajectory of his own life and of those around him. This is a process that will push clients to think deeper, ask more questions, develop a strong vision and take action. Ultimately, this process produces results!
What can you learn from the way Jesus made disciples?
The Jesus way to make disciples always leads to “transformation”. Man and woman were created with a spirit. Jesus understood how the spirit interacts with the mind, and the mind with the body, the body with the social dimension and how these aspects were encapsulated with the soul. Dallas Willard created a helpful diagram to illustrate these elements.
Three ways Jesus engaged people in their spiritual journey:
Jesus used the miraculous to engage people in their spiritual journey.
Think of examples like the Woman at the Well (John 4).
Jesus used stories to engage people through his teaching and preaching to engage people in their spiritual journey.
Think of examples like The Beatitudes (John 5:1-12).
Jesus listened and asked people questions to engage people in their spiritual journey.
Think of examples like: “Who do you say I am?” (Matthew 16:15)
At the core, making disciples is a relational process, and relationships are built on conversation. Discipleship conversations move the spiritual journey – either forward by building trust and challenging assumptions or backwards when a question is so powerful that it causes the disciple to “press pause” on their spiritual journey when they are unable or unwilling to follow Jesus.
Take a moment to reflect on what it means to be a good listener and ask powerful questions, and consider ways to grow and improve.
Making Space
Making the time and space for disciple making relationships. You can intentionally create opportunities “as you go” about your life to allow for conversations of this variety. The opportunities are endless. The grocery store, gas pump or in more relaxed settings like a park or cafe.
Listening Well
Listening well begins with respect and empathy for the other person. When engaging in a conversation, approach them with curiosity. An open mind. Hold onto your assumptions and judgements. Be aware of what your agenda is and lay it aside. Be open to the Holy Spirit and His agenda for the other person.
Tips: 1. Stop doing anything that distracts from the other person and the conversation. 2. Switch attention to the needs and preoccupations of the other person. 3. Observe closely, listen carefully and be attentive to non-verbal cues.
Recently my wife and I were going out to dinner with another couple. They are people far from God. As we were taking a stroll before dinner, I remember the conscious shift I recognized I needed to take. I was overly focused on my needs in the moment and forgot about the bigger purpose for our night out together. Once I made the mental, emotional and spiritual shift – I was surprised what happened during our meal together. Read more below…
Asking Questions
Listening well is a crucial skill and lets the person you are speaking with know they are seen, safe and heard. You need to be aware of opportunities to ask questions, probing questions to challenge. Asking questions allows you to gently encourage exploration. Powerful, open-ended questions elicit thoughtful responses that can’t be answered with “yes” or “no”.
Continuing the story from above. During dinner I remembered the question the Holy Spirit had given me that morning to ask the couple. When I initially asked the question, everyone reacted with a verbal response like “Wow – that is a crazy fun question,” or something to that effect. The actual question is not important. But the reaction and ensuing conversation was amazing. By my estimation, that question opened up the relational flood gates and created a safe place to share personal thoughts to help us understand each other.
Tips:
1. Use follow-up questions 2. Leverage the power of the pause after asking a powerful question 3. Don’t interrupt
Reflection Questions:
How do you rate yourself as a listener? How would your friends or spouse rate you??
How are you at asking questions? What would your friends say?
What is the Holy Spirit showing you about how you relate to people?
Key Question:
What changes do you need to make to be more effective at making disciples “as you go”?
We asked this question a few years ago: What are the essential habits to be a disciple that makes disciples?
From our understanding of Jesus’ ministry, observations from others who make reproducing disciples, and studying disciple making movements – these are the habits we landed on in response to that question:
Habit #1 – Missional Values – knowing and understanding your personal values and living them out through consistent behavior
Habit #2 – ACTIVE PRAYER – utilizing prayer as a critical key element in the disciple-making journey
Habit #3 – RELATIONAL CONNECTIONS – building strong and authentic relationships with both Christians and non-Christians in your community
Habit #4 – DISCIPLE MAKING CYCLE – creating intentional and enduring disciples who, in turn, create intentional and enduring disciples
Habit #5 – STRATEGIC PARTNERSHIPS – forging strategic partnerships to keep you on mission in your disciple-making journey
The Discipleship Collective is a learning community to support, nurture and coach disciples to make disciples makers.
Sharpen Your Discipleship Effectiveness
Finish 2023 strong with a commitment to sharpen your discipleship effectiveness.
The first step is to identify your strengths and areas for development – there is no better tool for that than the Discipleship Quiz. Included in your report is a coaching guide with suggestions for the best resources to help you target growth in the identified areas. This assessment is truly the tool to take your disciple making to the next level.
“Gary Reinecke and the team from InFocus have created a crucial resource for leaders and churches who are serious about being with Jesus on His Mission. I highly recommend the Disciple Coach Quiz as a tool for shaping the future of your disciple making efforts. The five qualities it measures and the behavior it supports provide a solid foundation for helping people authentically follow Jesus.”
Steve Pike – President, Urban Islands Project
Harness the power of disciple making using a coach approach by enrolling in the Discipleship Collective. The Discipleship Collective is structured to maximize your growth and sharpen your effectiveness as a disciple maker. Collectives are limited to no more than 12 participants per session. Each session offers 10 hours of training including:
5 Habits of a Disciple Maker webinar – Monday, October 16, 2023 from 10-3 PST and
This Sunday we celebrated the one-year anniversary at the church plant Gina, and my wife, and I have been serving. With one year behind us, the congregation has out-grown the space we launched in and to commemorate our first year, we launched a second service. The high point of the services was celebrating baptisms of new Jesus followers as they took this important step on their journey of faith. Two hundred fifty people now call The Refinery their church!
How do we define discipleship?
Reflect on the different ways the term discipleship may be used in your ministry.
Some might use the term to focus primarily on the spiritual development of new believers.
Others will apply it in a more general way, to develop people in their specific area of ministry, like “discipling a small group leader”.
And still others will use it in relation to a curriculum that is designed so that the student graduates from the course as a fully-devoted follower of Jesus.
While all of these might have their place, what observations do you have about these various interpretations?
One observation I have is that the way we use the word “discipleship” blurs the intent behind the term. When Jesus invites Peter and Andrew to “Follow me…”, Jesus is inviting them into an apprenticeship relationship with Him (Matthew 4:18-20).
Later in Matthew 28:18-29 at the commissioning of the disciples, Jesus is launching the disciples into their apostolic mission. After three intensive years of apprenticeship with his disciples, Jesus equipped them to make other disciples, baptizing and teaching them to obey God’s commands – love God, love your neighbor, and make disciples. He desired to shape their hearts to be aligned with the Father’s heart.
What can we learn from the early church?
The emphasis in the early church was to help people understand the commitments new Jesus followers were making to follow Christ. Two activities they would participate in that would mark, remind, and renew their commitment of course, included baptism and the sacraments. Foundational disciplines of a local faith community that they celebrated corporately (small or large groups) that made them distinct from other institutions.
The early church had a period of instruction and preparation for baptism. The goal was so that people would count the cost before taking the step to baptism.
I like the imagery that Colin Noyes provides in his work in Making Disciples – A Journey to Jesus. Notice the 4 transitions below. Each leads to the next stage in the journey of following Jesus.
Stage One – The potential disciple begins to explore what a relationship with Jesus will look like
Stage Two – The Holy Spirit continues to guide the discipler and disciple on the ‘Journey to Jesus’
Stage Three – The disciple is involved in a period of intense preparation for Baptism
Stage Four – The disciple participates in the Lord’s Supper, is welcomed into the Church and continues a lifelong growth in faith and obedience.
If you would like the Coaching Guide that unpacks the process above, CLICK HERE and request the doc: Making Disciples – A Journey to Jesus
How can you help people fully embrace the purpose, place, and power of baptism?
Every pastor and congregation has their unique views on baptism. In an effort to reconstruct what time and trends have deconstructed, here are 5 questions to consider:
Who is baptism for?
What should baptism mark?
What preparation and instruction should disciples experience?
What place does baptism play in our faith community?
We use cookies to optimize our website and our service.
Functional
Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes.The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
