3 Strategies for Prayerful Preparation

3 Strategies for Prayerful Preparation

This month, we have been discussing how abiding in Christ is the most important of all Christian coaching competencies. What we uncovered in our original research, documented in Christian Coaching Excellence, is that abiding in Christ is the one competency that separates good Christian coaches from great Christian coaches. As we abide in Christ, we help our clients abide in Him, partnering with the Holy Spirit for greater significance in our coaching relationships, life, and ministry effectiveness.

This week I will unpack the fourth of five behavioral expressions that comprise Abiding in Christ:

  • Prayerful preparation: Preparing carefully and prayerfully prior to engaging in a coaching relationship or appointment.

Many leaders excel in the technical skills of coaching, but not all coaches spend time prayerfully preparing for their coaching sessions. If we rely primarily on our technique and expertise instead of asking the Lord for His intervention, we will not ultimately be effective coaches. We need God’s involvement. As coaches, abiding in Christ means seeking the guidance of the Holy Spirit at each stage of the coaching process, recognizing our dependence on him as we discern the needs of those we are coaching.

Last week we discussed the competency of intercessory prayer–praying specifically on behalf of those we coach. We also need to pray in anticipation of specific coaching sessions. Spiritual preparation prior to coaching allows us to get into the right frame of mind, listening to what God may be telling us about an upcoming conversation. At times, that process may help us understand how to best handle the coaching session. Is it a time for quiet listening and waiting? Or is it a time for careful challenge? Spiritual preparation gives coaches the solid foundation we need to trust the process and trust that God will do his work in those we are coaching—and in us.

Oftentimes when we prepare quietly in preparation for a coaching conversation, the Holy Spirit will nudge us in a specific direction we need to consider with a client. One coach I worked with had a mentor who had developed the ability to sense where the Holy Spirit was guiding his clients. He was very intuitive during the coaching session and had done the heavy lifting prior to  his appointments in preparation for the conversations he would be having with clients.

He did this by taking a 15-minute block of time just before coaching appointments to reflect on the previous conversation with that specific client. As he prayerfully reviewed the notes he had taken, the Holy Spirit would speak gently about issues the client was facing and the type of questions he should consider asking. His Spirit-led insights inevitably helped his clients reflect and consider options moving forward.

On one occasion, he was coaching a client who was discerning his call in ministry. The Lord impressed on him the unique pastoral gifts his client had. Not in the traditional sense, though–this was someone who had a desire to pastor a group that was committed to reaching their community. As the coach listened and prayerfully engaged in the conversation, he perceived there was a potential opportunity the client was not seeing. The coach asked some guided questions that helped the client see an opportunity that would allow him to apply his pastoral gifts with a group of people that needed and wanted a leader like him. This set in motion a conversation with this group who had a vision to be missionally engaged in their community but lacked leadership. Once he began to connect the dots, the client was energized about taking the next step on his journey.

Here are some suggestions and exercises for growing in the area of prayerful preparation:

  • Practice exercises
    • Take fifteen minutes to practice listening prayer on your own.
    • Find a quiet place (or somewhere you can focus well) and posture yourself in an attitude of listening for God.
    • Invite the Holy Spirit’s presence.
    • Ask for God’s eyes and ears to see and hear your clients as he does.
    • Engage in prayerful reflection and listening regarding your coaching relationships.
    • Wait and listen.
  • Integrate prayer for your coaching client during exercise, walks, or hobbies. You can even integrate it into time spent commuting.
    • Next time you engage in one of these activities, take a portion of that time to review your coaching appointments that week and pray for each one individually.
  • Find a coach mentor
    • Is it time to look outside yourself for help? You will accelerate your growth in this practice when you find a coach mentor that excels in this area and ask them to mentor you for a season. We challenge you to raise your level of engagement in prayerful preparation for your coaching ministry.

Coaching Tip: Set a weekly appointment to pray for your coaching clients and ask God for discernment.

 

Coaching Excellence

  • Has it been a while since you participated in coach training?
  • Is it time for you to consider taking an assessment to evaluate your coaching?
  • Are you interested in taking the next step in your development and working with a mentor?

At Christian Coaching Tools (a platform I co-founded) we launched the Coach Excellence GrowthTrack this year. Our first cohort is underway! This is what one participant had to say about the experience of working with a coach mentor alongside their 360° Online Christian Coach Assessment:

 

“When used with the 360° Christian Coach Assessment, a coach mentor can maximize your development as a coach and your impact for the kingdom of God. Training alongside mentoring results in excellent coaches.” – Dennis P

 

The  next round will begin in the Spring.  To learn more about this unique training opportunity CLICK HERE.

 

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

3 Strategies for Growing in Intercessory Prayer

3 Strategies for Growing in Intercessory Prayer

This month we have been discussing how abiding in Christ is the most important of all Christian coaching competencies. What we uncovered in our original research, documented in Christian Coaching Excellence, is that it’s the one competency that separates good Christian coaches from great Christian coaches. As we abide in Christ, we help our clients abide in Him, partnering with the Holy Spirit for greater significance in our coaching relationships, life, and ministry effectiveness.

This week I will unpack the third of five behavioral expressions that comprise Abiding in Christ:

  • Intercessory prayer: Praying passionately for the person or team being coached.

Many leaders excel in the technical skills of coaching, but not all coaches excel in prayer and, specifically, intercessory prayer. If we rely primarily on our technique and expertise instead of asking the Lord for His intervention, we will not ultimately be effective coaches. We need God’s involvement. As coaches, abiding in Christ means seeking the guidance of the Holy Spirit at each stage of the coaching process, recognizing our dependence on him as we discern the needs of those we are coaching.

Coaching is not only a time commitment and a professional commitment—it’s also a spiritual commitment made to those who are being coached. Coaches need to be intentional and explicit about praying for those they are coaching. Some keep a list of people they are coaching in a place where they will see it regularly. Others send out emails soliciting specific prayer requests from clients. Some pray as a regular part of opening or closing a session. The best methods will differ for different people, but the best coaches find ways to pray for those they coach. That connection often manifests itself through prayerful contact: writing notes of encouragement, offering networking opportunities, providing open doors to places of ministry, etc.

Here are three exercises for growing in the area of intercessory prayer:

1. Quote for meditation

“If we truly love people, we will desire for them far more than it is within our power to give them, and this will lead us to prayer. Intercession is a way of loving others….As priests, appointed and anointed by God, we have the honor of going before the Most High on behalf of others. This is not optional; it is a sacred obligation—and a precious privilege—of all who take up the yoke of Christ.” (Richard Foster, Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home, p. 191)

2. Pray Scripture

When you are not sure what you should be praying for people, you can use Scripture passages as your prayer. Some good Scripture prayers include:

o   Colossians 1:9–13

o   Philippians 1:9–11

o   Ephesians 1:15–20 and 3:16–19

3. Practice exercise

Take a 30-day prayer challenge. If you are not currently praying for your clients during your coaching appointments, ask them how you can pray. Then pray with them during all of your appointments for the next 30 days. Afterward, assess the difference this practice makes in you and your clients.

Growing in the area of intercessory prayer is both a process and a practice; the more you intercede for your clients, the more attuned you will become to their needs. And the more attuned you become to the needs of your client, the better you can support your clients.

The post 3 Strategies for Growing in Intercessory Prayer appeared first on InFocus.

 

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

3 Strategies to Grow in Discernment

3 Strategies to Grow in Discernment

As we have seen, abiding in Christ is the most important of all the Christian coaching competencies. What we uncovered in our original research, documented in Christian Coaching Excellence, is that it’s the one competency that separates good Christian coaches from great Christian coaches. As we abide in Christ, we help our clients abide in Him, partnering with the Holy Spirit for greater significance in our coaching relationships, life, and ministry effectiveness

This week I will unpack the second of five behavioral expressions that comprise Abiding in Christ:

  • Discernment: Listen, process, and respond to the Holy Spirit as you make coaching decisions.

Many leaders excel in the technical skills of coaching, but not all coaches excel in discernment. If we are unable to listen to God’s voice and submit to his leading, we will not ultimately be effective coaches. We need God’s guidance to discern when and how to address an issue, or sometimes whether to address it at all. As coaches, abiding in Christ means seeking the guidance of the Holy Spirit at each stage of the coaching process, recognizing our dependence on him as we discern the needs of those we are coaching.

Many coaching decisions, both large and small, are made in-the-moment as issues and opportunities arise during a coaching session. The best coaches have their ears attuned to the Holy Spirit, following his lead as they coach.

Listening to the direction of the Holy Spirit involves giving up trying to steer things according to our own ideas or agendas. Opening with a question such as, “Where do you want to start today?” can help coaches place the agenda of the session in the hands of the person being coached. Continuing the session with questions such as, “What do you sense God is doing in this situation?” keeps the agenda there. When you approach coaching this way, you are less likely to miss what God is doing in a person’s life because you don’t assume you already know.

Have you ever had that sense that the Spirit is nudging you to say something but you realize it involves risk, discomfort, or may come off as presumptuous, so you’re hesitant to say it? This often happens when we least expect it. But if it truly is a message the Lord wants you to communicate, it will have the desired impact.

Recently, I was observing someone coaching a client–a church leader and businessman–in order to provide the coach with feedback. What I observed between the coach and client was a sweet synergy, partly because the two had a long history, but also because the coach was sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit and was able to encourage and support the client as he clarified his core values and mission for life.

The coach did something very important after the client shared his thinking behind each value: he simply affirmed the work of God in his life. The timing and manner in which the coach gave his affirmations was life-giving to the leader. As an observer of the situation, it was evident to me that these affirmations were more than just encouraging words; his words were empowered by the Holy Spirit.

Here are three suggestions and exercises for growing in the area of discernment:

1. Practice exercise

  • Practice listening for the tugging of the Holy Spirit as you are coaching. When you get a hunch, sometimes you’ll want to ask the client about it.
  • Don’t phrase it as, “God told me to tell you this,” but more like, “This might sound off the wall, but….Anything going on there?” Another helpful question is, “I’m wondering….How does that resonate with you?” This type of question gives the client the opportunity to respond freely and honestly. After all, you might be wrong.
  • Challenge: Try following through on what you are hearing from the Holy Spirit. Speak what you discern and see what happens.

2. Spiritual direction

  • Consider finding a person with expertise in spiritual direction and ask them to guide you through the Ignatian Exercises to help you become more attuned to the voice of the Holy Spirit.

3. Explore spiritual rhythms and the daily offices

  • Visit with a friend from the liturgical world. Ask them to share their journey that led them to engage in these practices, the challenges they face, and the fruit they experience.
  • Read Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero.
  • Visit a monastery for a personal retreat. If possible, join the community for prayer throughout the day and night to experience the rhythms of life in a cloistered environment.

Growing in the area of discernment is both a process and a practice; the more you practice listening for the Spirit’s voice and responding to it, even if you’re off at times, the more attuned to His voice you will become. And the more attuned to the Spirit you are, the better off your clients will be.

 

The post 3 ways to Grow in Discernment appeared first on InFocus.

 

 

Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash

5 Questions to Help Develop Your Character

5 Questions to Help Develop Your Character

Last week I introduced the practice of Abiding in Christ. I defined it as:

“the extent to which a coach seeks the Holy Spirit’s guidance at each stage of the coaching process and how much a coach depends on God in discerning the needs of those being coached.”

Abiding in Christ is the most important of all the Christian coaching competencies. What we uncovered in our original research, documented in Christian Coaching Excellence, is that it’s the one competency that separates good Christian coaches from great Christian coaches. As we abide in Christ, we help our clients abide in Him, partnering with the Holy Spirit for greater significance in our coaching relationships, life, and ministry effectiveness.

This week I will unpack the first of five behavioral expressions that comprise Abiding in Christ.

  • Character development: Consistently cultivating godly character through the application of biblical values.

Who do you know that demonstrates Godly character?

It’s a bit of a loaded question.  It suggests that some people are living congruent lives–those individuals who knead the Scriptures into their lives have a noticeable and lasting impact. In the Old Testament, one of the reasons Job stands out is because he was tested over and over again, yet remained faithful.

Job 1:1 “There once was a man in the land of Uz named Job. The man was blameless as well as upright. He feared God and kept away from evil.”

Later, Job had this to say after losing everything (Job 1:20):

“I left my mother’s womb naked,

    and I will return to God naked.

The Lord has given,

    and the Lord has taken.

        May the name of the Lord be blessed.”

A lot more can be said about Job, but we know how the story ends. After losing everything, God blesses Job.

Job 42:12 “The Lord blessed Job during the latter part of his life more than the former.”

Job did something unique, something special, something unequaled by his peers to forge Godly character. He was obedient! In the best sense of the definition, he practiced obedience where others faltered.

Reflection Questions to Help You in Your Character Formation

Regarding your coaching journey and this particular area of development, consider these reflection questions:

  • Where are you finding success connecting with God?
  • What does not work well for you?
  • How has God wired you to connect with him?
  • Given your current stage of life, what might be some helpful ways of engaging with God?
  • What environments are conducive to connecting to God for you?
  • Journal the following:
    • When have been the times in your life when you have grown in character the most?
    • What do you think contributed to that growth?
    • What does that tell you?

Use these questions to trigger old practices that have worked in the past, new habits that you want to test to connect with God, and find someone to help you focus on your journey of ongoing growth to build Godly character.

The post Questions to help you reflect on your character development appeared first on InFocus.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash