Self-Assessing is the ability to understand our own strengths and weaknesses. It helps us adapt to new people and unfamiliar circumstances, to know when to take on new opportunities and to see when we are pushing ourselves towards unhealthy places. In today’s vernacular, the concept is best captured by the term Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Self-assessment begins by asking the question, “How self-aware are you?” or “How is my emotional intelligence?”
Problems that arise with low EQ:
- You will miss subtle ques people send
- You will take on more than you should
- You will lose the ability to focus
- You will become reactive
- You will frustrate people
- You will resent your work
- You will begin to disengage from life-giving relationships
In 2010, my coaching ministry was on a growth trajectory. In my personal life, however, my family was going through a deep, dark tunnel that took both of my children through serious health challenges. I really did not navigate that season well on a personal level. I was anxious about my kids’ health and did not know how to resolve my inability to “fix them” and allow God to be my source of strength.
We survived that season – but my faith was stretched to new limits. Ministry-wise, I showed up. It was a wonderfully fruitful season with new opportunities, but if I were observing my emotional state from the outside, it would have looked like a train wreck. My mind constantly pondered the future scenarios with my kids’ struggles at the center. Thankfully, the Lord helped me, my wife, and our children survive and thrive in the years to come.
If I could have done a do-over that year, I would have desired to be more like Mary than Martha (John 15). I wish I would have spent more of my energy on “being with Jesus” instead of “doing the work for Jesus.” Through this struggle, I learned the important lessons of maintaining margins and creating the bandwidth to do those things the Lord put before me. It meant focusing more intently on the Lord’s work and accepting what I could not control.
Here are three gauges that leaders must consider when they take a coach approach to assessing their own bandwidth:
- Emotional – Do I have the energy to give to this new opportunity?
- Physical – Am I in a good place with my exercise, sleep and diet?
- Spiritual – How would I describe the current condition of my soul?
My sense is most of us are running too fast. We are striving too hard. We are pushing the margins of our emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Take time today to assess your bandwidth. Find a friend to talk about how you can maintain margins in your life. Do the hard work of assessing your strengths and weaknesses as a leader who is taking a coach-approach to ministry.
In the following weeks I will take a deep-dive into the behavioral outcomes that make-up the competency of self-assessing. If you are interested in a full explanation of how our team (namely Dr. Bob Logan & Dr. Chuck Ridley) arrived at the competencies of a Christian Coach – CLICK HERE. In case you missed it, last week we introduced a new resource for Christian Coaching – ChristianCoachingTools.com!
Identify areas that need your focused attention as a Disciple Coach
Photo by Julien L from Unsplash