The photo above is at sunset after riding a gnarly uphill out back we call Jacuzzi Hill (because someone dumped their jacuzzi in the beautiful hills of Murrieta, CA). It is a 25.2% grade (very steep), technical and challenging. Since it had rained recently, I was able to navigate it successfully (which I have only done on 1-2 other occasions over the last 12+ years of riding this particular trail).
As I recovered I paused to take in the beauty.
As Christian leaders it is important to pause to reflect on how we can more effectively engage people in their disciplemaking journey? Back in the spring when we pivoted to a remote small group via Zoom I thought this was going to be a difficult challenge; but then my perspective began to change. Instead of seeing virtual interaction as a substitute for the “real’ thing, I shifted my perspective to engagement. Regardless if we meet in person or virtually the question remains –“How can we support people in their disciplemaking journey?”
That question helped me realize that the debate between live, in-person vs. virtual is a secondary issue for disciplemakers. I’ve read about trendy techniques to keep the interest of people using platforms like Zoom e.g. smile, lighting, sound, backgrounds, etc. While these things are helpful I have discovered three invaluable lessons to engage and keep people engaged in their disciplemaking journey: BE FUN, BE AUTHENTIC and BE CHALLENGING.
The names of our small group leaders and participants has been changed for purposes of anonymity. Let me unpack each of these aspects below:
BE FUN – How can our leadership team lead with a fun factor to open the discipleship conversation?
Note – don’t do this alone! We have a fantastic leadership team. Two couples who really love the Lord, each other and our small group. If you are attempting to do this alone – stop whatever you are doing and invite others into your mission.
One way we express that love for our small group is through ice-breakers. And I mean thoughtful, fun and meaningful ways of breaking the ice at every small group gathering. This is one place we need to think of the unique challenge of meeting online.
Traditionally, at the outset of a new small group term we spend more time getting to know each other and then taper-off as we get more and more comfortable. However, in this season where we are meeting socially distanced online we have made ice-breakers a high priority. We have learned that every week is a new start, introducing people who have missed a week or two to the “regular” members of the group. In fact, we have one of our leadership team members dedicated to creating engaging ice breakers every week.
Here is one fun idea “Marje” suggested for Halloween. Three weeks prior, she asked everyone to come to the meeting just before Halloween with a decorated pumpkin – not carved, decorated. This allowed everyone to participate. Initially Gina (my wife) and I were very slow to get going. But after we gathered our decorations and discussed ideas, our competitive instincts kick-started our creative juices and we were on our way before we knew it. The next night, everyone was excited and showed-up with a pumpkin. Each person presented their pumpkin and the materials used. We laughed, we pointed at each others creation and we celebrated – then voted. That’s right, we were given 15 categories to vote with the hope that everyone would be a winner. And the next day, “Marje” personally delivered prizes to the winners! It is amazing what that single event has done to connect people.
Our entry in the Pumpkin decoration contest
BE AUTHENTIC: How can our team be real and genuine in supporting our people on their discipleship journey?
When it comes to the technology challenges, the best advice I would suggest here is – “relax”. Everyone is dealing with the same issue. Be transparent and honest with those struggles.
As always whether meeting online or in person, lead with your struggles when it comes to your discipleship journey.
Before we even met for our fall term our team invited all of our people to meet in smaller groups (groups of 2-5) in backyards to reconnect or meet each other for the first time.
Because people are missing the human touch, I would suggest increasing your use of texting (or whatever medium you choose) to “touch” your people.
Beyond the regular meeting utilize text between sessions to encourage, pray and support each other.
Most important – pray! Pray during the sessions, pray in prep for your small group meeting and following. Moresoe than ever, people need to sense they are not in this alone but that the Holy Spirit is alongside them every step along the way.
We have a critically ill person in our group. His journey is long and hard. It is complicated by the season we are in right now. We ask for and receive updates via text, our people are quick to let him know that he is cared and prayed for.
BE CHALLENGING: How can we challenge people to stay the course on their discipleship journey?
I use a coach-approach in making disciples. Leaning heavily into listening and asking questions is extremely effective in helping people engage in their discipleship journey. Here are a few questions that I have found to be helpful:
Disciplemaking coaching questions:
Where are you on your disciplemaking journey?
This infers people are aware of a disciplemaking journey like the Missional Discipleship storyboard – see below.
What are you doing to move forward in your disciplemaking journey?
Who are you engaging in their disciplemaking journey?
Where are they on their dsiciplemaking journey?
What questions can you present to challenge them to take the next step on their disciplemaking journey?
Let me share with you about my mountain bike journey.
In 1993 my wife (Gina) and I decided to share a hobby we both had aspired to but never pursued individually – mountain biking. Probably, just like you, we had bikes as kids and did all the normal things you do on a bike. We understood the basics: balance, braking, turning, etc. But we wanted more.
Little did we know that would lead us into so many amazing adventures over the next 3 decades as we moved from thinking about mountain biking, talking about it to being about it.
We made a commitment. That led us to research various bike options. One of our friends from church was deep into biking and worked at a cycle shop. So we asked him to help us purchase bikes that fit our goal of getting out on the trail and learning how to maneuver the desert terrain of Phoenix, AZ on a two-wheeled apparatus.
Truth be told, Gina is a stronger rider than I am. She is more daring. More adventurous. And significantly faster. I have to work hard to keep up with her. It is genuinely frustrating, but we love the challenge and joy of mountain biking.
What can we learn from mountain biking that we can apply to disciplemaking?
I am glad you asked.
Earlier I mentioned that we went through this process of thinking about mountain biking, talking about it and finally being about it. These three stages were important and necessary. If we had only thought deeply about mountain biking, it may never have crept into our conversation. And if we had simply talked about the great times we would have riding mountain bikes; we might have never gotten around to actually getting our bodies on the two-wheeled piece of aluminum (or carbon fiber) and flung ourselves down bone jarring downhills or pedaled vigorously, climbing technical trails to ascend steep peaks with the reward of amazing views awaiting us.
If these three processes are important for mountain biking, is it possible that Christians in the West are stuck in a cycle of thinking and talking about discipleship to the neglect of being about discipleship?
Could this dynamic on an individual level be a systemic issue occurring in our churches?
Here is you chance to move from thinking and talking about discipleship to being about discipleship.
I know that this does not happen over night, so we are offering a combination of a 4-hour webinar followed by 4, hour-long coach triads over a 4 month period (December 2020-March 2021). Each triad consists of a coach facilitator and two participants.
Below are the details for both opportunities!
4 BUILDING BLOCKS FOR DISCIPLES AND DISCIPLE COACHES:
WEBINAR + COACHING TRIADS
Description: Orientation + Implementation of the 4 Building Blocks for Disciples and Disciple Coaches
Dates:
4-hour webinar – November 16, 2020 from 10amPST-2pm PST (1-5pm EST)
Four, hour-long coach triads over a 4 month period (December 2020-March 2021) – dates TBD with participants
Here are three common obstacles people face who earnestly want to impact the Kingdom by doing good and making disciples:
Obstacle #1: Staying true to your values
Oftentimes a disciple maker initially attempts to follow a prescribed disciple making process that good but not consistent with the values a disciplemaker embraces, for instance, the more relational a person’s temperament the less structured their approach might be to help a person process the next step(s) in their faith journey.
Obstacle #2: Not bearing the fruit expected
Oftentimes a disciplemaker has higher expectations than the apprentice of Jesus has for their life that can lead to frustration for both parties.
Obstacle #3: Connecting with a community of like-minded people
Oftentimes the disciplemaker is working alone and longs to be connected in a meaningful way with others who are on the same journey to.
Last Friday Micah Dodson and I hosted a 55-minute webinar to present the essential building blocks to build into your disciple making. Here is the slide deck from that presentation – 4DMBB Webinar HO 10.30.20
Now we want to give you the chance to build these 4 Disciple Making Building Blocks into your church culture with an expanded version of what we presented last Friday. We know that this does not happen over night, so we are doing a combination of a 4-hour webinar followed by 4, hour-long coach triads over a 4 month period (December 2020-March 2021). Each triad consists of a coach facilitator and two participants.
Below are the details for both opportunities!
4 DISCIPLE MAKING BUILDING BLOCKS: WEBINAR + COACHING TRIADS
Description: Orientation + Implementation of the 4 Disciple Making Building Blocks
Dates:
4-hour webinar – November 16, 2020 from 10amPST-2pm PST (1-5pm EST)
Four, hour-long coach triads over a 4 month period (December 2020-March 2021) – dates TBD with participants
As in the past, I want to pass-on opportunities for you to learn how to empower leaders through coaching from global thought leaders in the coach community. If you are a pastor, church planter or missionary – see if this applies to you…
Yes, I do believe we as Christians have the advantage when we coach and equip leaders how to coach other leaders because we have the capacity to rely on the Holy Spirit that others outside the Christian faith do not possess. And No, I don’t believe we know all there is to know about coaching just because we are followers of Christ. You and I have much to learn from secular leaders on the topic.
The 5 Ways to Accelerate Your Coaching Impact Masterclass featuring former Director of Executive Coaching at Google, David Peterson and Coaching Industry Pioneer, David Goldsmith is starting soon!
Have you secured your spot?
In this complimentary masterclass, you’ll learn how to:
• Engage Faster – Give your clients real value in the first 20 minutes • Make Leaders You Coach Want More – End your first meeting strong • Coach Effectively – Ask key questions to progress quickly with your client • Connect Quicker – Uncover client insights swifter than you thought possible • Produce greater value per minute – Learn when to work fast for greater impact
If you’re ready to accelerate your coach development, join me at this session.
As a thank you for registering, you’ll receive an additional bonus – the ACE Coach Note-Taking Tool. This tool enables you to stay fully present while taking notes during coaching conversations. It includes tips on how to take notes effectively while ensuring it doesn’t get in the way of building rapport.
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