Fall is around the corner and with that comes a natural desire to revamp and reboot! How can you help your people get back into the rhythm of things? This usually begins with thinking about how to help people reconnect relationally after the summer.
Summer is a disruptive season for most congregations – people travel, families are in and out of town, others are simply too busy with work and the extra social events that the summer invites. In the midst of the fun, a person’s church participation and spiritual community can often suffer. Church attendance nearly always goes down in the summertime, small groups take a break, and events slow down. But it all picks back up in the fall!
Many churches are still recovering their numbers from the pandemic as people slowly make their way back to church. All this time away from the church can cause a person to question their place in the community. So how can you help people re-engage relationally? What do people need? What are they looking for from your church community?
People who want to re-engage with their church community are looking to discover the place where they belong and feel like they are part of something bigger than themselves. If they have children, they want to get their kids involved in some kind of Christian education. People are searching for meaningful ways to use their gifts and passions for the Kingdom of God through their church community.
Relaunch your church community and help people get off to a fresh start.
Events are a good way to get everyone together:
Movies in the park
Sports
Sharing meals together
This is a casual way to allow everyone to reconnect with friends and get to know visitors or other congregation members they haven’t spent much time with.
Small groups
Launch a small-group campaign: post important dates on the church calendar.
Make small groups visible – post with details about each group
Make small groups accessible – create an easy sign-up system
*Do the same for family ministries including children, youth, young adult, etc.
Service opportunities
Invite church members to take a spiritual gift assessment by appointment.
Communicate various ways to serve inside and outside the walls of the church.
Help people discover what they are passionate about and the best fit for them within the Body.
Your church will do things YOUR way. The size and environment of your church will change how you reach out, and what kind of services you offer.
3 important steps to engage your congregation:
Map out the process to involve people
Clearly communicate the vision
Make the sign up and onboarding process easy
Create a very healthy culture in all your teams and ministries so that people have an amazing experience
Share stories of how people’s lives are changed to the congregation
MOST IMPORTANT: Make sure that the people representing these events, ministries and groups are warm, welcoming and helpful!
How are YOU fostering new rhythms and relationships this fall? Share with us in the comment section!
Do you want to take your team on the disciple-making journey together? The Discipleship Collective helps you mobilize other disciple makers. Take the Disciple Maker Quiz to discover the habits in which you are excelling and the growth points on which you need to focus. Then invite other members of your team to join you. It’s FREE and you can use it as often as you like!
If the last few years have taught you anything, it’s that adaptation is necessary and good. Finding the best ways to support people and teams in their personal and ministry development is an ongoing, life-long process.
What worked last year might not work this year. And things that you have used in the past can improve through practice and repetition. Simple things like reading books, taking an assessment or participating in a cohort are great ways to improve.
Even as a Master Coach, my goal is to get better and better. Here are 10 things I’ve gleaned from my experience that have helped me improve my coaching.
10 Things I learned this year that have helped me get better as a coach:
1. Mirror Investment
Don’t desire something for someone more than they desire it for themselves. This is a lesson that will be learned over and over again. It’s easy to get in the way of ourselves and put our expertise ahead of our clients’ needs. It goes back to the principle that your client must want whatever “it” is bad enough that they are willing to take responsibility for it.
2. The Holy Spirit wants in
The power of “holding space” for the Holy Spirit to speak, nudge, and inspire can’t be underestimated. When appropriate, I integrate the practice of “holding space” into my coaching appointments. When I introduce the concept to clients, I communicate the exercise with a statement like, “This is a practice I’m learning in a cohort on spiritual formation and direction; would you join me in this?” It has been met with a positive, open response and the result has been refreshing and impactful.
3. Trigger warning
It is so important to be aware of your triggers. I was really caught off guard this year when I was discussing the launch timeline for a new work with a church planter. He mentioned two things that “triggered” an emotional response from me. The two issues had to do with disciple-making communities, and they were hitting against a core value of mine that triggered an emotional response. I can’t remember having such a strong response in my 35+ years of coaching. It certainly did not come off the way I would normally respond; I reacted way too passionately. It reminded me of the importance of knowing my values, what triggers me, and the importance of responding appropriately.
4. Quality tech
A shift has occurred in video conferencing. An attractive background, ring light, quality camera, and a higher grade microphone are becoming the norm. The investment in a couple of key components will improve the quality of your video calls, moving them from good to great! The small investment you make in each of these is worth the cost. Here are four ideas to consider:
Background – blinds or something that makes sense for your situation
There is a lot that goes into the work of creating a coaching ministry or practice. You can have a really great product. You can be a very skilled coach. You can be fully trained and credentialed. In fact, you can have an amazing marketing funnel (checkout my favorite CRM – Less Annoying). But if you can’t make the ask, you will never be able to build a coaching ministry or practice.
6. Stay ready to grow
Every single coach has room to grow. It’s important to maintain a habit of sharpening your coaching skills. Be creative and use opportunities that feel most natural and conducive to practice your coaching skills. It may be while leading a small group or ministry team, or dealing with family members in important conversations. Or how about when you are getting to know someone for the first time – make it about them and not about you!
7. Be generous
It feels amazing to receive–pay it forward and give back! When you know people that could benefit from an introduction to someone that can help, make the introduction. If you have resources, share them. If you are able to give of your resources–time, money or materials–give generously. One way I am doing this is serving in a ministry that is training “coaches” to empower people experiencing homelessness to get off the street and move into self-sufficiency. It’s very difficult and hard work, but it’s a place where coaching allows me to pay it forward.
8. Develop your network
I’ve been working with learning communities for a couple of decades but the last year has reminded me of the joy I have in creating peer learning environments in cohorts. Whether it is developing disciples, leaders, or coaches, the principles of a great learning community are the same: trust, vulnerability, high-quality content and accountability, among other things. The mutual learning and community are huge benefits of these learning environments and set them apart from other ways of training leaders.
9. Connect to the “Why”
Intrinsic motivation fuels action. My wife Gina is a health coach. She literally asks her clients the “Why?” question seven times before she is confident that the client gets to the root and declares their real reason to get healthy. That is about 6 times more than I normally ask! But when I’ve gone through the slow and sometimes tedious process of going deeper, the real reason people want to change usually finds its way to the surface.
10. Take care of yourself
I mean that in every dimension of your life, especially emotionally and spiritually. It is no wonder we are confronted with a worldwide mental health crisis. I’m not certain we can truly understand the wide range and long-term aspects of the pandemic on the emotional and spiritual well being of the world’s population. But from personal experience–it was hard! I’ve adopted a more rigorous habit of doing three things first thing in the morning: reading through the Bible (using the Bible in One Year Express app with Nicky Gumble from Alpha), a gratitude list, and contemplative prayer. For the latter two, I set a 10-minute timer because it helps me stay focused. These three things have helped me steady the ship when the seas of life are turbulent.
What are some things you’ve learned this year to improve your coaching?
When I developed small group leaders in a new church plant, New Song Church, we were singularly focused on reaching 18-25 year-olds. We did all we could to make our ministry relevant. Our small groups strived to meet the needs of college-aged students and young adults who were launching their careers. I remember searching to find resources that we could use with our leaders. There were so many out there at the time but it was a struggle to find material we could use “off the shelf” (now it would be called “from your device”). I thought of all sorts of approaches from Serendipity Bible to missionally engage groups that were reaching particular college students in the area we served, to service projects or need-oriented groups. Then, I sensed the Holy Spirit wanting me to take a different approach. Instead of finding a program or curriculum, our goal would be to develop our small group leaders to think, decide, and act for themselves. Then we would coach them to lead, care for, engage missionally, multiply disciples, then leaders, and ultimately groups. This was a significant shift in my approach.
Be clear about the mission
I remember one book I asked our small group leaders and apprentices to read: Coleman’s, Master Plan of Evangelism. This laid a foundation for us to discuss the “why” behind our small groups and sharpen our vision on disciple making–e.g., to keep the main thing the main thing. This book helped us keep the purpose of our small groups clear and in front of us along the way. We had a plethora of groups, but whether it was a softball team or a Bible discussion group, the stated goals of our small groups were with the intent on making disciples.
Guard against Mission Drift
It is easy to get distracted and allow mission drift to set in with small groups. Assimilation, personal support, relationships, ministry teams, missional engagement are all good things. However, if any of these become the primary function of the small group, then we risk drifting from the mission to make disciples. Another way of saying this is to substitute the good for the best.
One of the lessons we learned during this season is that small groups are likened to the cells of the physical body. The health of the body, or church, is synergistically and independently related to the life of the cells, or small groups. This is supported by the research conducted by Christian Schwarz in Natural Church Development (1996) where he draws the correlation between church health and growth:
“If we were to identify any one principle as the most important… then without a doubt it would be the multiplication of small groups”
Make certain you are clear on the mission of your small groups.
Coach to develop the person and leader
This is so important. People matter. The best way to develop leaders is to care for the individual. Coaching the whole person will allow the ministry to be self-sustaining. Imagine two rails of a train track: one rail represents the person and the other rail, the leadership. Both need to grow in order to multiply the group. The tension between these two will cultivate a healthy coaching relationship, grow the individuals and the small group ministry.
Here is a list of questions we often use to help us coach well. (I wish I had had these at New Song Church!) `
What are you excited about?
What is your greatest challenge?
What are some practical steps you can take?
What will you do?
How can I pray for you?
Support and care for your leaders is essential for cultivating a disciple-focused mission for your small groups! Consistently implementing the questions above can help develop leaders that multiply.
Next week, we’ll take a deeper look into training small group leaders by modeling a process for them to emulate within their groups.
In the hustle and bustle of Christmastime, it’s easy to find ourselves lost…we all, to some degree, can get caught up in the unavoidable commercialism and social pressure of Christmas. Yet I have found that when I make some time to quiet my mind, it is a great season for reflection. With the new year just around the corner, it is naturally a wonderful time to look back on the past year, recalling the joys and the struggles, the lessons learned and the growth we have seen in ourselves and all around us.
Since last Christmas much has changed, and in many ways we are all still adapting to the new normal. It has been a busy year personally and professionally. Today, I want to share some of the highlights of this year and take some time to show my appreciation for everyone who is on this journey with me.
Personal review:
This has been a year of growth and change for my family. Last August my wife, Gina, and I helped relocate both of our kids to Boston. Parenting young adults has been a big learning curve! We are learning and finding people to lean on in this new stage of our journey as parents.
Gina’s health coaching business has grown steadily. InFocus has partnered with her to do some wonderful work with three unique groups that started out as clients and took the step to become health coaches. We are especially proud to say that about a third of her team is made up of people of color. You can read more about our partnership – CLICK HERE. We are also grateful to share that Gina’s parents in Australia are finally coming out of lockdown!
This year, one of my personal goals regarded my own spiritual growth. I had been feeling stagnant in my spiritual life and knew it was time to create some intentional space to learn and grow. I have enlisted in a three-year cohort through Fuller Seminary’s Doctoral program and began working with a spiritual director. Together, we are exploring my relationship with Christ in some deeper and refreshing ways. It has been so revitalizing to my soul!
I want to finish with a personal accomplishment: I am likely to surpass my 2020 record in miles and elevation in mountain biking! My love of mountain biking is only growing!
Professional review:
This has been a busy year for me in ministry. I am proud to look back on what InFocus and our affiliates have accomplished. It’s been a great year for collaboration!
Training Coaches to Help Churches in Transition
In conjunction with Micah Dodson, I began working with leaders from a denomination in the Pacific Northwest who are coaching churches in transition to aid these congregations in their revitalization. We trained these leaders in the coaching process and saw significant growth. Here is what the leaders shared about our work:
“Over this past year, our district contracted with Dr. Gary Reinecke of InFocus Ministries to train several turnaround coaches. Our aim is to better serve, support, and resource our pastors who have been called to lead churches in need of revitalization. Engaging this partnership with InFocus immediately resulted in fourteen of our pastors receiving monthly coaching. No doubt these numbers will continue to rise as our coaches gain experience and additional pastors begin to hear of the impact and value from those already engaged. The benefits have been significant. Our pastors are encouraged because they feel less isolated. And, because they are experiencing personal growth and developing their leadership capacity, their leadership teams are also being impacted. This has been a worthwhile investment. I highly recommend Dr. Gary Reinecke and InFocus Ministries. He is a ‘master’ coach who will serve you well.”
Leadership Collective
We are so proud of our Leadership Collective! In collaboration with Russ Siders, we focused on multi-ethnic churches in 2021 with a focus on building and developing strong leaders who are passionate about developing leaders, beginning with the newest disciples and ending with a culture of ministry multiplication. The goal is to raise up church leaders and equip individuals to grow and transform their communities.
Five Disciple Coach Habits
In 2020, InFocus and our affiliate, Micah Dodson, began a workshop called Five Disciple Coach Habits. We hosted another round in October 2021, examining these five habits and offering a series of private coaching sessions to follow. We are so pleased with how the webinar turned out and gained so much from our coaching sessions!
Christian Coaching Tools
My colleague, Bob Logan, and I launched the Christian Coaching Tools platform and are in the final stages of publishing Christian Coaching Excellence (coming out in January 2022). Our vision is to raise the level of Christian coaching around the world by developing the best coaching resources and tools.
[Tweet “…final stages of publishing Christian Coaching Excellence (coming out in January 2022).”]
Disciple Coach
I am in the process of writing a new book with my colleague Colin Noyes in Australia. In this book we introduce two unique perspectives of a new disciple’s spiritual journey:
Move the starting point:
First, we move the starting point of a new disciple’s journey. As people go about their everyday business and encounter a disciple of Christ who is willing and able to engage in spiritual conversations, their awareness is triggered on a subconscious level until it happens enough times that it surfaces to a conscious awareness. A more familiar–and common–place in which people are initially aware of the beginning of the disciple journey is when they enter a church or participate in a discipleship program.
Self-awareness:
Second is the guiding principle of a disciple coach: “What a new disciple discovers for themselves will empower them to take the next step on their disciple-making journey.”
The most difficult part of this year has been discovering how to help pastors and church planters navigate the pandemic and enter a new normal. We at InFocus are infinitely thankful for our clients and affiliates! It is because of our work together that we have made it through these unprecedented times and accomplished so much along the way.
[Tweet “The most difficult part of this year has been discovering how to help pastors and church planters navigate the pandemic and enter a new normal.”]
Thank you for your continued support of InFocus and our work!
I would love to list the names of all the leaders that serve faithfully around the world, but due to confidentiality I am unable to do so. I will just say that our combined efforts result in the mission to make more and better disciples, develop leaders, and plant healthy churches that reproduce healthy churches.
Recently, we have been looking at five shifts to make that will help empower your teenager to become mature, healthy self-led adults. Last week, we looked at the Shift #1: Talker to listener. Shift two is all about moving from the center of their lives and decision-making to the side. As a reminder, I am not an expert in parenting. But I have learned a thing or two about coaching and helping people take action towards the direction God has designed for them in life and ministry. Also, these five shifts are not limited to parenting. They relate to working with teenagers in youth groups or wherever you’re connecting with people in meaningful ways to help them take the next step on their journey to follow Jesus’ mission for their life. Let me give a bit of background so you have some context.
Shift #2 – Center to Side
One of the things we did very early with our kids was to involve them in sports. When we lived in Phoenix, Gina and I coached their respective “recreation” soccer teams. We lived in the city and the rec leagues were designed for all kids to participate regardless of athletic ability or economic situation. Our son played one summer of T-ball and we asked him not to play again (the summer heat even for an early game was suffocating) and later basketball BTW – both kids are athletic and our son is a very quick learner so new sports came easy for him. They enjoyed sports.
When we relocated to Southern California we graduated from rec leagues to competitive soccer. What the kids gained were nicer uniforms, higher calibre of coaching and players with a bit more skill. What they lost was the fun factor! For me (playing competitive soccer most of my life through my sophomore year in college at a NCAA Div I program) and Gina (elite gymnast and field hockey player in Australia with the additional bonus of studying kinesiology at university) – we had to make a hard decision and consider: Was this about us or the kids?
Our response to that question led us down the path of understanding what we cared about and hoped to instill in our kids. So we made the hard decision to tell the kids that they did not have to play a competitive sport; but in exchange they had to remain active. That meant, regular body movement. We died to ourselves and helped the kids discover activities they were passionate about!
We took ourselves out of the center and moved to the side!
This meant we had to become like Barnabas. What we discovered was that we were able to dedicate the time we had given to all-weekend tournaments and engage with the kids on hikes, camping and exploring various activities like rock climbing, mountain biking and swimming together. Today, they continue to be curious about the outdoors, learning new activities like trail running and walking the streets to explore new parts of the city while testing their skills and levels of fitness with new activities. This was the vision of what we wanted for our kids back when we made the difficult decision of making this about them – not about us.
Here are some of the things we did to make this shift in the way we parented our teenagers.
Key Question: How can I resist the temptation to force my agenda and be attunedto the other person’s agenda?
Mini-Shifts:
Sacrifice your need to be the center of the conversation
oMake your teenager the focus of the conversation.
Support your teenager to discover their next step
oFacilitate the discovery of a step for your teen to take responsibility.
Put your assumptions, opinions, and biases in the background
oResist the temptation to make judgements and remain curious.
Following are two opportunities that can help you refine your disciple-coach skills!
5 Disciple Coach Habits webinar – Monday, October 11 from 10-3 PST
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