The ultimate goal of coaching is to help people and leaders you are developing or discipling change their lives for the better and grow personally and in their ministries. As you help people prepare for what’s next, it’s important to help them slow down, assess, and adjust so they can round the next corner with confidence. Here’s how…
Reflection helps you to prepare people you are developing for success. You want to help them discover a path that will take them closer and closer to their goals, personal growth, and transformational learning. Reflection conversations lead to positive action.
The 3 Phases of Reflection
1. Shift from rehearsing the story to reflection
A good way to kick start a coaching conversation is to ask questions to find out what a person is giving their attention to at the moment. Of course, the real agenda might be forthcoming but this will get the ball rolling. Here are the questions I like to use (borrowed with permission from The Coaching Habit by Michael Bunjay Steiner):
What’s on your mind?
What’s the real challenge for you?
What do you want?
How can I help?
Christian Coaching Essentials, p. 48
Inevitably, the people you are developing will use this as an opportunity to share about a situation that springboards into the agenda. As a coach, you ask questions that spur your clients to think deeper. Oftentime, by the end of the conversation, they will gain new insight into themselves by way of reflection.
For example: You are working with a small group coordinator to reignite small group ministry in your congregation, but she has not yet surfaced any real options. In fact, over the course of several conversations, she realizes that the options she has at her disposal are thin and this is beginning to wear on his ministry and personal tolerance levels.
Questions for rehearsing to reflection:
What did this conversation reveal to you?
How has your curiosity been sparked?
What are you sensing the Holy Spirit wants you to explore further?
2. Shift from reflection to action
Reflection is so helpful, but not worth much if it is not used to make positive changes. The next step is to take the information the people you are developing have gathered about themselves from the reflection, and take action.
For example: The small group coordinator has pursued each lead but the trail always halts in a dead end. Now she is left with a real problem: what if a new path to relocate does not emerge? This throws her into a spiral of despair and unbelief. Your task is to help her see that this is not the end of the road but just the beginning of exploring new avenues, new relationships, and new opportunities.
The trajectory of your questions must help the client think beyond present circumstances so that she can move up and out of the spiral she finds herself in. There will be some heavy lifting involved for you to challenge her assumptions and break through the mental and spiritual blockages that are holding her back. In this scenario, the client connected with another church in the community that eventually became a partner to help her discover ways to adopt a new small group model.
Questions for reflection to action:
What would you like your impact to be?
How can you create an environment where that is possible?
Who do you know that knows someone who could help?
Brainstorm Exercise:
Using post-it notes, take a pen and ask the people you are working with to brainstorm as many ideas as possible and write each individual idea on a new post-it.
Explain that the goal is quantity, not quality, and that they do not need to organize these in any order.
After a designated time to brainstorm ideas (5-7 minutes), ask the people you are working with to organize the post-it notes into groups formed around a similar theme or affinity
Examples of groups around the topic of impact: social, financial, spiritual, psychological, marriage, etc.
3. Shift from Action to Transformational Learning
The final step is coming together again to discuss the results of the action. Once more, this step revolves around conversation and you asking probing and thoughtful questions. The goal is to use the results to help the people you are developing understand their growth and see the transformation that has taken place.
For example: The small group coordinator has made a shift. There are details to work out every week, but the strategy to relocate has been positive on many fronts: uptick in visitors, stability, and a sense of momentum that comes with those two things.
Questions for Action to Transformational Learning:
How has this experience challenged your thinking?
What do you need to change moving forward?
What insights do you have about your leadership?
4 Benefits to the Client
1. Self-discovery
Guiding people through the reflection sequence allows them to come to their own conclusions. “Ah-ha” moments are far more powerful than simply telling a person what they need to do
2. Slow down to go fast
Life in real time rarely leaves space for deeper reflection and learning. The result is repeating the same mistakes. Helping the people you are developing to see the story frame by frame leads to greater awareness and effectiveness in future projects.
3. Prescriptive vs. Descriptive
Steps and pathways to growth are great—unless they don’t have an onramp where the people you are developing have access to understand their needs or forcing them to go in unnecessary directions. Prescriptive formulas don’t always fit the context. Instead, taking on a strategic role in a creative process allows your client to describe and process their own experiences, which leads to powerful insights.
4. Surfaces values
Processing conversations gives people you are developing the opportunity to allow values to percolate to the surface. When a person has clearly defined values, they are able to make decisions with greater confidence.
It is so clear how this young woman used each step of the sequence to great effect. She was given permission to reflect, advance her thinking from reflection into action for transformational learning that will change the trajectory of her own life and of those around her. This is a process that will push your clients to think deeper, ask more questions, develop a strong vision and take action. Ultimately, this process produces results!
Want vibrant faith journeys, not just pew-fillers? Ditch the “join the club” mentality. Begin with the end: are you raising disciples, or filling seats? Distinguish: assimilation welcomes, discipleship equips. Monitor progress – are hearts growing, lives changing? Spice it up! Make it fun, adventurous, messy. Keep it simple, focused, real. Less is more, quality over quantity. And finally, make it reproducible: empower others to disciple, creating a chain reaction of faith. Remember, it’s not about numbers, it’s about igniting souls!
7 Nuances to Transform Your Discipleship Culture: From Assimilation to Thriving Growth
Discipleship. It’s a word that gets thrown around a lot, but how often do we truly understand its depth and power? Building a thriving culture of discipleship isn’t about simply checking boxes or churning out cookie-cutter followers. It’s about cultivating a space where individuals grow into their full potential, empowered by faith and equipped to make a difference in the world.
Here are 7 nuances to guide you in transforming your discipleship culture from assimilation to a dynamic, life-changing journey:
1. Begin with the End in Mind:
Before building, you need blueprints. Define what a “disciple” looks like. Are they individuals who embody specific values? Do they actively engage in their communities? Having a clear vision of your destination helps you navigate the path and tailor your approach.
Key Question: How do you measure the fruitfulness of a disciple of Jesus?
2. Distinguish Between Assimilation & Discipleship:
Assimilation is about making people fit into a mold, while discipleship is about helping them discover and develop their unique gifts and calling. Don’t focus on conformity; nurture authenticity and encourage personal growth within the context of shared values.
Key Question: Are your people simply being assimilated into the congregation or are they growing closer to Jesus, cultivating their character and reproducing other disciples?
3. Monitor Progress:
Growth doesn’t happen by accident. Implement systems to track progress and provide personalized feedback. This could involve goal setting, mentorship, or even simple check-ins to see how individuals are applying their learnings. Coaching keeps motivation high and identifies areas where support is needed.
Key Question: How does your ministry monitor progress in the disciples you are making?
4. Make Discipleship Fun and Adventurous:
Let’s face it, traditional Bible study can feel stale at times. Inject a sense of excitement into your discipleship journey. Organize mission trips, retreats, or even service projects that allow people to put their faith into action in engaging ways. Remember, learning is best when it’s also fun!
Key Question: How dynamic is your discipleship pathway?
5. Keep it Simple:
Don’t overwhelm people with complex theological jargon or a never-ending list of requirements. Break down complex concepts into digestible chunks and focus on the core principles of your faith. Remember, less is often more when it comes to laying a strong foundation.
Key Question: Can you draw your discipleship process on a napkin and explain to a brand new disciple in 3-5 minutes?
6. Less is More:
Quality trumps quantity. Is it better to have a small group of deeply committed disciples than a large group of passive participants? Foster meaningful relationships within your group, providing opportunities for genuine connection and support.
Key Question: What are the essential components to foster a culture of discipleship in your congregations, gatherings, and groups?
7. Make it Reproducible:
A strong discipleship culture isn’t sustainable if it relies solely on charismatic leaders or specific programs. Design systems and frameworks that anyone can pick up and run with. Train and empower individuals to become mentors and guides themselves, ensuring your culture thrives even beyond the initial spark.
Key Question: If you step out of the discipleship “system” will it continue on it’s own?
Remember, building a thriving discipleship culture is a journey, not a destination. By incorporating these nuances, you can create an environment where individuals are challenged, inspired, and empowered to grow into their full potential as Jesus followers. So, let’s ditch the assimilation assembly line and embark on a journey of genuine transformation, together.
Resources to cultivate disciples, that make disciples:
Your people live life in the margins. When push comes to shove, they sacrifice their health (spiritual, mental, physical) in their efforts to lead well. Yet taking care of ourselves well is imperative if we aim to make any sort of impact in leading, shepherding, or empowering others in the way of Jesus.
Have you ever looked across the desk, or table, or screen, and wondered about the condition of your leader’s spiritual life, their emotional health, their physical condition, and, while coaching them, entertained a separate conversation in your head about how you could help them gain more traction in those areas? Have you thought that if they made just a few micro-changes in nuanced ways, they could thrive in both their professional and personal life?
This is the time of year when people are thinking about these kinds of aspirations. Realistically, the good intentions that your people have in January begin to lose the feel-good sensation in February. In March, sputter. And, let’s face it: by summer, they are all but forgotten
How can I help leaders move good intentions into actions that result in deep change?
We want to support our leaders as they envision the year ahead. Ask a series of questions to help them reflect on the primary areas of life – spiritual, emotional, physical. Expand it to social, financial, and recreational. Whatever, or whatever fits their specific situation. Be prepared! Some of your leaders will share personal struggles they face and problems they want and need to confront. This is where careful, non-judgmental listening and asking powerful questions can do the heavy lifting. Resist the temptation to give advice, and finish by asking about important areas they want to change. Then move into a more focused planning conversation to flesh out a plan. The Achilles Heel of moving good intentions to action is some form of support by way of accountability. Ask your leaders to pursue an accountable relationship that will keep them on track. The more you can get out of the role of “accountability partner” and stay in your lane as their coach – the more you empower your people!
5 Questions to ask leaders for their work-life balance
How is your spiritual, mental, and physical health today compared to this time last year?
What changes did you intend to make last year to improve your quality of life?
How did it go?
Do you feel empowered or defeated, proud or ashamed about the state of your health in those three areas?
What do you wish to change?
What is your plan to regain balance in your work and life this year?
Churches that have a vision to cultivate leaders demonstrate four keys to spot, train and mobilize leaders. If you are having success in this area, assess how you are doing in these four areas. If you are new to the idea of developing leaders, identify the area(s) where you need to begin and get to work! Here are the four areas that churches cultivate in order to develop leaders:
Clearly defined pathway and outcomes
Specific skill assessment and training
Robust coaching system
Community to cultivate relationships
Clearly defined pathway with outcomes
Every journey needs a map. To cultivate leaders, it is healthy for everyone to know the steps involved and for each individual to understand where they are at any given time. Think back to your journey.
Coaching is a relationship with the purpose of cultivating leaders.
What did the person who came alongside you do to support you in your development?
How has this shaped your approach to developing leaders?
What do you actually do to cultivate leaders?
In this article, we have outlined the five best ways to develop coaches – and to grow as a coach in the process. A great place to get started is to read Christian Coaching Essentials. One of the most critical things a Christian coach does is help people listen and respond to the Holy Spirit. You will find QR codes embedded in the book to help you go deeper into the key aspects of becoming an excellent coach.
Community to cultivate relationships
This environment prioritizes leadership development for your people. Think of it as the engine for the other three above!
Coaching keeps leaders engaged.
Skill assessment and training offer strategic focus.
A pathway serves as a map to follow.
The environment sustains leaders from one step to the next, one generation to the next.
If you are interested in learning more about how InFocus can help you develop your leadership development process – CLICK HERE!
Survey says….
As you know, InFocus empowers leaders to navigate complex issues of ministry to multiply disciples, cultivate leaders, and plant churches. The way we do that is coaching, training and consulting. Do us a favor and let us know how we can best service you in 2024. Your voice matters. As we plan out how to best come alongside you in your ministry, we want to hear from the person who matters most—you. You know your ministry. You know your skill sets and goals. Take a minute or two to complete this SHORT SURVEY to let us know how we can laser-focus on what you need most in 2024. Your response will directly impact what you get from us this year.
Looking ahead at 2024, you are probably thinking about the bigger picture. You know your ministry doesn’t stop with you. It trickles down not only to those you lead, but to those they lead, and to those they lead.
Effective leadership has the potential for maximum impact. You want to see your teams and ministries flourish, thrive, and expand. You want to see disciples and leaders made and multiplied. You want to see the Kingdom coming closer with each step forward they take in their plans.
That’s what those you are leading want too. They’re looking for clarity and direction. They’re looking for practical, strategic ways of doing ministry better and smarter. They’re looking for customized solutions and top-notch guidance. So how can you stand ready to provide the most helpful guidance you can?
Consider your ministries’ specific needs
What challenges are you facing now? What issues are you likely to be facing throughout this next year. So what are the issues you are facing? Think it through: do you need help knowing how to develop leaders? How to make disciples? How to multiply your ministries? How to deal with conflicts? How to get others on board with the vision? How to navigate leadership transitions? You’ll want to pre-think some of the most common needs your ministry will face this coming year so you can lead through the issues in the most effective and healthy possible ways.
Reflect on your own skill base
Given the demands of your ministry, what will be required from you? Brainstorming help? Strategic planning strategies? Help casting vision? Determine which skills you’ll most need to grow in to help you sharpen your leadership in the new year.
Plan ahead to expand your ministry influence
In addition to identifying your needs and sharpening your own skill set in 2024, you’ll want to take a wider view of your own ministry. How can you expand your ministries’ influence, be more effective, and go deeper? How can you target the influence and impact of your ministry so it grows and you’re in a stronger position to help more people? How can you know that your efforts are resulting in more life change, transformation, and the extension of God’s Kingdom?
Survey says….
As you know, InFocus empowers leaders to navigate complex issues of ministry to multiply disciples, cultivate leaders, and plant churches. The way we do that is coaching, training and consulting. Do us a favor and let us know how we can best service you in 2024.
Your voice matters. As we plan out how to best come alongside you in your ministry, we want to hear from the person who matters most—you. You know your ministry. You know your skill sets and goals. Take a minute or two to complete this SHORT SURVEY to let us know how we can laser-focus on what you need most in 2024. Your response will directly impact what you get from us this year.
Take a look at the following list. Why do you think these blogs were the most viewed? Which topic resonated most with you? In true New Year’s Eve style, we are counting down to the #1 blog of the year…
10. Avoiding Burnout as a Leader Where do you go when you are reaching your limit? What happens when you ignore your margins? Every single leader on the planet needs a refresher now and then.
9. Christian Coaching Essentials RELEASE This post being in the Top Ten demonstrates your commitment to strengthening your ability to empower leaders! This is the only research-based Christian coaching process available today. The result is a comprehensive coaching process that is spiritually-anchored in Christ so that you can cultivate leaders in your ministry.
8. Reconnecting with God We love that this post made the Top Ten! You are pulling up your sleeves and eager to nurture your spiritual growth and help others be all that God has created them to be. After taking a break, it is important to meet people where they are and help them reconnect with God.
7. Lent Week Four: Veronica Wipes the Face of Jesus We were pleasantly surprised by the Lenten series. You showed a heightened interest in revisiting the season of spiritual preparation approaching the Passion of Christ. Be on the lookout for another version of the series in 2024.
6. Coaching on Succession Planning Every leader is in a state of transition. However, when a leader is moving from one position to a new position, there are three phases that we addressed in this blog that caught your eye. We will look at succession again in 2024.
5. Workplace Culture and Respect There is a gap in communication styles and even values between generations. That isn’t necessarily bad, but it is something to be aware of and be intentional about as you adapt your leadership style to the leaders you are cultivating.
4.5 Habits to Make Disciples We’ve been honing in on these habits that were fundamental to Jesus’ ministry. It’s exciting to see you resonating with these! Look for more on the 5 Habits in 2024.
3. Slow Your Role! When You Launch Small Groups Matters Small groups are one of the most influential contributors to church health. It is no surprise that the topic attracted so much attention this year. Whether you call your small groups missional communities, Community Groups, Life Groups – look for more insights in 2024.
2. 5 Challenges Every House Church Faces Every single post in this series on qualities of churches of various sizes were near the top of your favorites. We hear you! Look for more IF posts that offer insight and tips into understanding the unique challenges in these specific contexts in 2024.
1. Reconstructing DiscipleshipSo much has been discussed, written, and forecasted about the deconstruction of discipleship. This raises the question – what is discipleship? We will bring you more on the challenge of making disciples, who make disciples, in 2024.
Your Voice Matters
We hope this post has helped you see our commitment to you and to creating content that is important to you. As you can see, identifying the top ten blogs of the year has been a strategic part of our planning for 2024. We invite you to speak into this further and invite you to take a few moments and complete this SHORT SURVEY. Please let us know how we can come alongside you to help you grow as a coach, build your coaching business, and work with specific context and clients.
As we step into the New Year, may it be a time of growth, resilience, and joy for you and your loved ones. May the coming days be filled with spiritual growth, meaningful connections, and a closer walk with God. Here’s to a year of discovering new possibilities, embracing challenges, and creating lasting memories. Wishing you a blessed and Happy New Year!
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)
As you approach the end of the year, Christmas provides a natural pause for reflection and renewal. Take a moment to reflect on the incredible gift of Jesus Christ and what he’s done in your life this year, as well as pray and seek guidance for the next. As you take this next week to reflect, consider the relationships you’ve cultivated, the lives you’ve touched, and the ways you can continue to grow as a servant leader. Let the Christmas season inspire a renewed commitment to leading with love, compassion, and a heart devoted to God’s purpose.
“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” / Isaiah 9:6 (NIV)
Are you known as one who helps people develop and grow? Do people feel empowered to take action when talking with you? Do people under your leadership honestly believe you help them move from deep reflection on an issue to proactively taking steps forward?
The next time you are in a conversation, gauge where you most naturally gravitate – reflection or action.
This is not an easy transition to help people through. It doesn’t come naturally for some – but there is good news! I want to share a simple shift you can make to become more intentional and effective in your conversations. Let’s talk about what it takes to help people move from deep reflection to effective action.
Most leaders have an innate tendency to be stronger in one area than the other. But it is absolutely essential that you live in the healthy tension of both reflection and action so that people you develop, empower, and release can grow in the right areas, in the right way, attaining their desired outcome. As a leader, it can be tempting to settle in your sweet spot; however, mastering both reflection and taking action is a discipline you can develop!
Goal: To help leaders move from passively assessing and reflecting to taking action.
Benefits to take a step towards a goal:
Action allows leaders to test their assumptions
Action forces people out of their comfort zone
Action is necessary for growth
Action creates momentum
Action builds confidence
From Reflection to Action:
Remember the primary aim is to help people listen and respond to the Holy Spirit. You can see in the diagram above that the more you and the people you develop are focused on God and less on yourselves, the more likely people will clarify and be inspired to take action!
Let me unpack this a little more:
Clarify: the more understanding a person has of the reasons behind a change, the greater the motivation.
Inspiration: the more a person “feels” the need to change, the greater the energy needed to do so is activated.
To concrete this further, good coaching addresses both the head (clarity of thought) and the heart (energy) for change.
Three Mini-Shifts to help people you are developing:
Challenge the other person to act.
Do not allow new disciples or leaders to remain in a state of reflection. Action is the catalyst for development and growth; without action, God’s plans for us will take exceedingly more time to come to fruition.
Use questions to help a person articulate what they will do.
Make sure there is a plan in place. Action is likely to fail without practical and well-thought-out steps to reach the goal.
Gain commitment from the other person.
Make sure you have considered all angles when it comes to what the action will lead to – even potential negatives – and help people remain committed to the goal.
Real-Time Actions:
Clarify. Summarize the main points of what people have shared and ask follow-up questions to probe until they have enough clarity on the action they intend to take.
Inspire: Ask people to share what they want to accomplish and the motivation behind it. Tap into their “why.”
Take a moment to reflect on this shift – from reflection action. What new insights do you have
Reflection Questions:
Who is stuck in reflection that I am coaching?
Who tends to skype reflection and move right into action?
How do I help people clarify what they want to do?
How do I inspire people to take action?
Where do I naturally gravitate – reflection or action?
Coaching Questions:
What is the most important thing…?
What will you do?
How committed are you to do this?
What will you give up to do this?
What will this give you…?
Key Question: How can I help people do both well – reflect and take action?
You have an idea. A really good idea. But before others have a chance to even test it, your idea is adamantly rejected.
Some time passes, maybe a year or so. During that time, the group that rejected your great idea stumbles on a very similar idea and tries it out for themselves. That group experienced the power of your idea first hand. And now they are on-board, fully engaged and supportive of “their idea” – with a vision to build on, expand and grow the idea.
This is not surprising, is it?
The very people who rejected the idea initially are now the ones who own the idea today because they discovered the power of the idea for themselves.
What happened?
Experience. When people discover a new way of doing something and have a positive outcome, they can internalize an idea.
Co-creating a vision with a leader has a similar dynamic.
Think of a time when you came alongside someone and helped them flesh out their vision. You listened carefully. You asked thought-provoking questions. You were empathetic. You demonstrated genuine excitement. What difference did that make?
Probably a significant difference. In both scenarios, when people discover something for themselves, they own it!
5 benefits when you help leaders develop vision
Allows leaders to grow in their leadership
Encourages leaders to trust Jesus and exercise their faith
Helps leaders to understand their own vision with greater clarity
Communicates that the leader’s vision is worth your time and attention
Reinforces the principle that the leader who creates the vision owns the vision
Questions you can ask to facilitate the visioning process
What brings you joy?
What makes you angry?
What makes you excited?
How do you see your strengths being used?
What is a problem that you feel called to solve?
How do you sense God leading you in the future?
What unique experiences have you had that are shaping your vision?
One of the keys to engaging people you are developing is to understand them. Get to know their story. Understand their gifting, strengths and weaknesses, and how they learn. Help leaders understand the key skills they need to develop, problem solve, and clarify their vision.
Have you been on the giving or receiving end of this?
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