The hard work of coaching requires the coach to slow down, go below the surface and uncover key issues.

Not too long ago I was meeting with a pastoral leader who wanted help supervising a new staff member.  The new staff member struggled with feedback.  They winced when it was given and quick to excuse or diminish the helpful insights.  On top of that, he continued repeating the same mistakes.  I had several ideas swirling around in my head but I stopped, challenged and chose to remain present.

Then I asked him the following:

  • What was the source of the staff member’s insecurity?
  • What had the pastoral leader tried to help him receive feedback?
  • What had worked in his past experience?
  • What strategies could he brainstorm? 
  • What would he do?

Receiving feedback is a learned skill.  Helping someone grow in this area can be a game changer.  What are some ways you have helped those you coach exercise this important leadership muscle?


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