I began coaching in 1988.  I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to coach leaders to start all kinds of churches & pioneer disciple-making movements.  Last week I began sharing lessons that I’ve learned from coaching some of the most amazingly gifted, truly faithful & hard-working leaders serving in the Lord’s Church today. Here is a list of lessons that I’ve gleaned:

Lesson #1 – Discern the will of the Father

Last week I focused on the importance of the spiritual foundation in coaching. Discern the will of the Father and helping those you coach, do the same. This week, I will focus on the relational foundation.

Lesson #2 – Value the other person

You must earn the trust of the leader you coach in order for them to engage in the coaching process.

A teeter-totter works when two participants have figured out how to balance the relationship of one end of the teeter-totter with the other end. A coach must learn to gauge the:

  • commitment level of the leader to the objective
  • engagement level of the leader to the coaching process
  • trust level of the leader to the relationship

Trust is the fulcrum of the coaching relationship.  One of the best ways to unravel a coaching relationship, or any relationship for that matter, is to break trust.

Here is a list of ten questions I’ve gleaned over the years to build and maintain trust:

Ten Trust-building Reflection Questions:

  1. Under promise: What are realistic expectations for this coaching relationship?
  2. Over deliver: How can I coach this leader to surpass their goal?
  3. Be prompt: What do I need to sacrifice to be on time?
  4. Keep confidence: What must I do to maintain confidentiality?
  5. Direct lines of communication: Who must I speak to in this situation?
  6. Admit when mistakes are made: What is the best way for me to approach the leader affected?
  7. Reschedule as soon as possible: What potential conflicts do I see in my coaching schedule?
  8. Do what you say: What commitments do I know I will keep?
  9. Connect peopleWho do I know that could uniquely relate to the leader I am coaching?
  10. Pay it forward: How can I bless this leader through a random act of kindness?

Next week I will share another lesson that I’ve learned as the Lord has allowed me to partner with leaders who are making a significant contribution to the work of cultivating disciplemaking movements.  Leaders who have been instrumental in raising up leaders, making disciples & starting new ministries. Missional leaders who understand the force when the DNA of multiplication is integrated in the very essence of everything that they do and releasing control!


Join our mailing list to receive notifications of newly posted blogs. This is the best way to stay up-to-date with InFocus' efforts to keep you moving toward your goals.

You have Successfully Subscribed!