I began coaching in 1988.  I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to coach leaders to start all kinds of churches & pioneer disciple-making movements.  Last week I began sharing lessons that I’ve learned from coaching some of the most amazingly gifted, truly faithful & hard-working leaders serving in the Lord’s Church today. Here is a list of lessons that I’ve gleaned:

Lesson #1 – Discern the will of the Father

Last week I focused on the importance of the spiritual foundation in coaching. Discern the will of the Father and helping those you coach, do the same. This week, I will focus on the relational foundation.

Lesson #2 – Value the other person

You must earn the trust of the leader you coach in order for them to engage in the coaching process.

A teeter-totter works when two participants have figured out how to balance the relationship of one end of the teeter-totter with the other end. A coach must learn to gauge the:

  • commitment level of the leader to the objective
  • engagement level of the leader to the coaching process
  • trust level of the leader to the relationship

Trust is the fulcrum of the coaching relationship.  One of the best ways to unravel a coaching relationship, or any relationship for that matter, is to break trust.

Here is a list of ten questions I’ve gleaned over the years to build and maintain trust:

Ten Trust-building Reflection Questions:

  1. Under promise: What are realistic expectations for this coaching relationship?
  2. Over deliver: How can I coach this leader to surpass their goal?
  3. Be prompt: What do I need to sacrifice to be on time?
  4. Keep confidence: What must I do to maintain confidentiality?
  5. Direct lines of communication: Who must I speak to in this situation?
  6. Admit when mistakes are made: What is the best way for me to approach the leader affected?
  7. Reschedule as soon as possible: What potential conflicts do I see in my coaching schedule?
  8. Do what you say: What commitments do I know I will keep?
  9. Connect peopleWho do I know that could uniquely relate to the leader I am coaching?
  10. Pay it forward: How can I bless this leader through a random act of kindness?

Next week I will share another lesson that I’ve learned as the Lord has allowed me to partner with leaders who are making a significant contribution to the work of cultivating disciplemaking movements.  Leaders who have been instrumental in raising up leaders, making disciples & starting new ministries. Missional leaders who understand the force when the DNA of multiplication is integrated in the very essence of everything that they do and releasing control!

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