Five Shifts to Become a Better Coach: From Reflection to Action
Are you known as one who helps people develop and grow? Do people feel empowered to take action when talking with you? Do people under your leadership honestly believe you help them move from deep reflection on an issue to proactively taking steps forward?
The next time you are in a conversation, gauge where you most naturally gravitate – reflection or action.
This is not an easy transition to help people through. It doesn’t come naturally for some – but there is good news! I want to share a simple shift you can make to become more intentional and effective in your conversations. Let’s talk about what it takes to help people move from deep reflection to effective action.
Most leaders have an innate tendency to be stronger in one area than the other. But it is absolutely essential that you live in the healthy tension of both reflection and action so that people you develop, empower, and release can grow in the right areas, in the right way, attaining their desired outcome. As a leader, it can be tempting to settle in your sweet spot; however, mastering both reflection and taking action is a discipline you can develop!
Goal: To help leaders move from passively assessing and reflecting to taking action.
Benefits to take a step towards a goal:
- Action allows leaders to test their assumptions
- Action forces people out of their comfort zone
- Action is necessary for growth
- Action creates momentum
- Action builds confidence
From Reflection to Action:
Remember the primary aim is to help people listen and respond to the Holy Spirit. You can see in the diagram above that the more you and the people you develop are focused on God and less on yourselves, the more likely people will clarify and be inspired to take action!
Let me unpack this a little more:
Clarify: the more understanding a person has of the reasons behind a change, the greater the motivation.
Inspiration: the more a person “feels” the need to change, the greater the energy needed to do so is activated.
To concrete this further, good coaching addresses both the head (clarity of thought) and the heart (energy) for change.
Three Mini-Shifts to help people you are developing:
- Challenge the other person to act.
- Do not allow new disciples or leaders to remain in a state of reflection. Action is the catalyst for development and growth; without action, God’s plans for us will take exceedingly more time to come to fruition.
- Use questions to help a person articulate what they will do.
- Make sure there is a plan in place. Action is likely to fail without practical and well-thought-out steps to reach the goal.
- Gain commitment from the other person.
- Make sure you have considered all angles when it comes to what the action will lead to – even potential negatives – and help people remain committed to the goal.
Real-Time Actions:
- Clarify. Summarize the main points of what people have shared and ask follow-up questions to probe until they have enough clarity on the action they intend to take.
- Inspire: Ask people to share what they want to accomplish and the motivation behind it. Tap into their “why.”
Take a moment to reflect on this shift – from reflection action. What new insights do you have
Reflection Questions:
- Who is stuck in reflection that I am coaching?
- Who tends to skype reflection and move right into action?
- How do I help people clarify what they want to do?
- How do I inspire people to take action?
- Where do I naturally gravitate – reflection or action?
Coaching Questions:
- What is the most important thing…?
- What will you do?
- How committed are you to do this?
- What will you give up to do this?
- What will this give you…?
Key Question: How can I help people do both well – reflect and take action?
Photo by Tool., Inc on Unsplash
Five Shifts to Become a Better Coach: From Creator to Co-Creator of Vision
Can you relate to this?
You have an idea. A really good idea. But before others have a chance to even test it, your idea is adamantly rejected.
Some time passes, maybe a year or so. During that time, the group that rejected your great idea stumbles on a very similar idea and tries it out for themselves. That group experienced the power of your idea first hand. And now they are on-board, fully engaged and supportive of “their idea” – with a vision to build on, expand and grow the idea.
This is not surprising, is it?
The very people who rejected the idea initially are now the ones who own the idea today because they discovered the power of the idea for themselves.
What happened?
Experience. When people discover a new way of doing something and have a positive outcome, they can internalize an idea.
Co-creating a vision with a leader has a similar dynamic.
Think of a time when you came alongside someone and helped them flesh out their vision. You listened carefully. You asked thought-provoking questions. You were empathetic. You demonstrated genuine excitement. What difference did that make?
Probably a significant difference. In both scenarios, when people discover something for themselves, they own it!
5 benefits when you help leaders develop vision
- Allows leaders to grow in their leadership
- Encourages leaders to trust Jesus and exercise their faith
- Helps leaders to understand their own vision with greater clarity
- Communicates that the leader’s vision is worth your time and attention
- Reinforces the principle that the leader who creates the vision owns the vision
Questions you can ask to facilitate the visioning process
- What brings you joy?
- What makes you angry?
- What makes you excited?
- How do you see your strengths being used?
- What is a problem that you feel called to solve?
- How do you sense God leading you in the future?
- What unique experiences have you had that are shaping your vision?
One of the keys to engaging people you are developing is to understand them. Get to know their story. Understand their gifting, strengths and weaknesses, and how they learn. Help leaders understand the key skills they need to develop, problem solve, and clarify their vision.
Have you been on the giving or receiving end of this?
Recommended Resources
Photo by ThisisEngineering RAEng on Unsplash
Five Shifts to Become a Better Coach: From Conversation to Action
It’s one thing to discuss the future and the potential steps to take to grow as a person or to achieve goals, but it’s quite another thing entirely to take action from these conversations. As a leadership or ministry coach, you aren’t satisfied with talking about dreams and struggles – you want to support people you coach through an intentional process that moves vision to a reality! When it comes to coaching, our conversation is only as powerful as what it leads us to do. Without taking action your clients’ dreams, their plans, the Holy Spirit’s direction, simply sit dormant as good intentions. But how can you empower your clients to take action? The first step is to partner with God. Tuning into the Holy Spirit’s voice will help you as the coach as well as those you are coaching.
Goal: The primary emphasis is to help the new disciple or leader discern the voice of the Holy Spirit, acting upon His voice to turn coaching conversations into intentional plans of action.
Why is it important to turn conversations into action?
- Growth is only possible when people take action
- Progress can only be measured when people take action
- Celebration is so much more meaningful when a goal or milestone is met!
Adopt a comprehensive coaching process that is spiritually anchored in Christ
Relate: Start an empowering coaching relationship.
A healthy relationship between coach and client is essential. The client must trust their coach and feel safe enough to be honest and vulnerable. They must know they can count on their coach for wisdom and for support as they take risks.
Reflect: Dig deep to discern the key issues.
In order for your clients to know what steps should be taken, it’s important for them to understand the deeper reasons behind their goals. Why are these goals important? What stands in their way? What is God saying to them?
Refocus: Facilitate holistic plans that will work.
Even the most well-meaning and passionate dreams will not work without some planning. Is the goal possible? What is needed to make it happen? How will it impact your client’s life should it come to fruition?
Resource: Leverage what’s needed for effective implementation.
This is where you can support your client as they begin to gather what they will need to move their good intentions forward: finances, connections, or emotional strength.
Review: How to build capacity for the ongoing journey.
Now that the process has begun and action steps are in motion, what is needed to make your client’s work sustainable? What struggles might arise in the future and how do you aid your client in creating safety nets and alternative options for the future of their goals?
Three Mini-Shifts to Turn Conversations into Action:
- Build a trusting environment.
- Make their agenda your agenda and help them clarify their next step.
- Engage your clients by helping them tap into their spiritually-directed motivation.
Real-time Actions:
- Adopt a simple process that is spiritually anchored in Christ
Reflection Questions:
- What happens when your client takes action?
- What could they do differently to make their actions more effective?
- How can you help them hone their action plans?
Key Question:
- Where is God prompting you to grow to help your client take action?
Resources:
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash
Five Shifts to Become a Better Coach: Talker to Thinker
Do people know you as empathetic and caring? Do they feel they are being heard? Do people under your leadership honestly believe you are a great listener?
Empathy doesn’t come easy to all of us – but there is good news! I want to share a simple shift you can make to become more intentional and effective in your community. Let’s talk about what it takes to move from being a talker to a listener and how to integrate that with a spiritual foundation that empowers you and the people you coach to abide in Christ.
Most leaders natural tendency is to talk rather than listen. As a leader, it can be tempting to always provide an answer, to fill silence with advice or stories, or share every drop of wisdom that has been gained through years of experience. However, as much as new disciples and emerging leaders learn through your experience, they will learn much more through their own experience. Of course, part of being a leader is explaining, sharing and advising, but the best leaders coach people they are developing by spending more time listening than they do speaking.
Goal: To help leaders stop speaking and begin to listen.
Why is it important to listen?
- You can only understand the needs of the disciples or leaders you are coaching by creating the space that allows them to share their struggles, ask questions, and process their thoughts/emotions
- You create trust by refraining from instructing, judging, or offering advice, and allow the disciples and leaders you are coaching more agency to make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes.
- You empower the disciples and leaders you are developing to become better listeners themselves through your example.
- You create the space that allows your disciples to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit more clearly and rely on God’s direction.
- You talking gives opportunity for the disciples and leaders you are developing to “tune-out”
- You listening redirects the focus from yourself and puts the focus on the other person and ultimately, God!
(c) Gary B Reinecke, 2023 – for use with permission only
3 Mini-shifts to become a better listener:
- Take the posture of a learner. You must believe that God speaks to the disciples and leaders you coach just as He does to you.
- Remain silent. Challenge the disciples and leaders you coach to push their thoughts further by inviting the Holy Spirit to speak.
- Be patient. Give the disciples and leaders you coach time to form their own opinions and to arrive at the place God wants to take them.
Real-Time Actions:
- Summarize. Without interrupting, reiterate the main points of what your disciple has said back to them. This lets them know you understand them and gives them the opportunity to correct you and explain themselves in more depth.
- Ask the disciple, “Is there more?” After a person shares their thoughts out loud on an issue, see if there is more that they need to process.
Take a moment to reflect on this shift from talking to listening. What new insights do you have about yourself as a coach?
Reflection Questions:
- Do I speak more or listen more?
- Do my disciples feel heard by me?
- What would my disciple want me to ask them?
Key Question: How can I ignore my tendency to share my wisdom and seek to listen?
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